Hi, I'm Mimi. I'm kinda random... kinda artsy :). I'm a psychology major, so yes, I'm probably analyzing you, lol jk. I do web/graphic design. I like helping people with their problems and giving advice, so feel free to shoot me an e-mail at avecamour@live.com. The end.
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
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On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31770) - you totally deserved it (14185)
On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
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On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41592) - you totally deserved it (7043)
On 06/06/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35392) - you totally deserved it (4854)
On 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML
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On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML
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On 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by untitledentity (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death" (my dildo). FML
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On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - kids - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7087) - you totally deserved it (96132)
On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my dad got really drunk. When I was about to go to bed, he was just coming out of the bathroom, he was fully naked, I immediately turned away and said "Okay Dad, time for bed". Thinking that I was my mum, he replied with "That's right bitch, I'm your daddy, I'll show you in bed". FML
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On 05/17/2009 at 10:22am - misc - by mynickhuh (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
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On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, my friend Kate and I were helping build a playground. Halfway through, a construction worker asks where we go to school. I told him we graduated and proudly held degrees in psych. The construction worker stopped mid-dig, glanced at us sadly and said, "yeah that's what my degree's in too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35011) - you totally deserved it (4872)
On 05/17/2009 at 12:20am - work - by blairheir721 (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, the girl I like called me and said she liked me. After I told her I liked her too, she didn't say anything. Thinking the call was a joke, I started screaming at her and calling her a slut. Turns out it wasn't a joke, she had just hit mute on her phone by accident. FML
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On 05/13/2009 at 11:35am - love - by your_mother - United States (New Jersey)
Today, after spending the night hanging out with a beautiful girl we start to walk back to my place. Halfway there she turns and says, "I wish you were a vampire" and goes back home. FML
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On 05/11/2009 at 1:12am - intimacy - by Hallllo (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML
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On 05/06/2009 at 9:43pm - misc - by Gumfanatic302 (woman) - United States (Nevada)
