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Artis

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  • Number of visits : 513
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Visits<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 6:38pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:22pm<b>chib</b> - the 11/21/2009 at 5:15pm<b>skyregit</b> - the 11/18/2009 at 3:58pm

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Artis's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML

#3684210
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70956) - you deserved it (12504)

On 07/12/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by robinhoood (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally had sex with a girl I've been dating for over a month. Before we got started she told me not to worry about the birth control because she could handle that. So after we finished I asked her what kind of birth control she used. She said she meditated. FML

#3211870
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33426) - you deserved it (70083)

On 06/25/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by UrbanCass (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML

#3078421
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60343) - you deserved it (25939)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by jinxofsocal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a date with this really cute guy. He invited me over to make dinner at his place. Eventually we end up in his bedroom to have sex. He pulls down my panties and says, "You need to shave that shit." FML

#2734034
460 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51772) - you deserved it (65185)

On 06/09/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by lagirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was camping. Me and this really cute girl were hitting it off real nice. It was the last night so we both headed over to my tent to have sex. I was just about to get it in when a raccoon ripped my tent causing the girl to scream and runaway. I got cockblocked by a raccoon. FML

#2729024
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70181) - you deserved it (8426)

On 06/08/2009 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by Baggabbles123 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84062) - you deserved it (20445)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

#2103981
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18701) - you deserved it (88197)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Takuma (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learnt that nail polish remover is, in fact, VERY flammable. And I learnt it the hard way. FML

#16995
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6710) - you deserved it (37509)

On 02/09/2009 at 4:21am - misc - by adrenochrome (woman) - Lithuania (Vilniaus Apskritis)



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