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Arosamond's FML badges
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Arosamond's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy
by airbiscuit / 01/21/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy
Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
by anonymaiacciu / 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm / France / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML
by Juiced / 09/26/2012 at 2:46pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML
by identitychangeplease / 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy
Today, my clumsiness has reached such legendary proportions in my family, that when I visited my grandparents, I found they'd put stickers all over their glass doors, so I wouldn't have "yet another painful accident". FML
by fuck yuo / 09/01/2012 at 4:50pm / Canada (Newfoundland) / Miscellaneous
by wtf / 08/26/2012 at 1:03am / New Zealand (Southland) / Love
by byegeorge / 08/17/2012 at 7:26am / United Kingdom (Hounslow) / Animals
Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML
by Anonymous / 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with for the past two years. Five minutes in, he passed out on top of me from a pain pill overdose and had a mini seizure. He finally woke up and groans, "Those bastards! They confiscated my clothes!" FML
by Lucy / 07/21/2012 at 3:40am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Marjorie / 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
by Anonymous / 07/10/2012 at 6:03am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I discovered that I'm adopted. How? After a great lunch, I asked my uncle how he'd made the salad dressing. He replied, "Haha! It's a secret family recipe, my dear!" I wouldn't have thought twice about it, were it not for my parents' shocked expressions, and the long, awkward silence. FML
by Lyn / 07/06/2012 at 6:14pm / France / Miscellaneous
by mpsteve137 / 06/30/2012 at 2:21am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by GM38 / 06/22/2012 at 10:57pm / United States (Florida) / Love
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…
- Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call…