About Armin : Being an itty bitty curious eh D:
I don't know what to tell you so: I'm Armin and from time to time I have outbursts of randomness and excessive joy. It's fun :D
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my little brother learned that breaking a glow stick and emptying it into someone's eyes does not help them see in the dark. It's a good lesson, I just wish he hadn't used my eyes to learn it. The doctor says the burning feeling should go away in 3 or 4 days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43887) - you deserved it (3504)
On 07/05/2009 at 12:10pm - health - by blinded (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37535) - you deserved it (2185)
On 07/05/2009 at 8:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I learned that when you do this alone, the birds don't fly away, they attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9377) - you deserved it (52225)
On 07/04/2009 at 5:56pm - animals - by SwordFish8 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my mother texted me while I was at work asking me to pick up a door-stopper on my way home. When I asked her why she explained that she and my dad were trying to make love but the dog kept pushing the door open. What an image. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32636) - you deserved it (2328)
On 07/04/2009 at 12:18am - animals - by Grossedouttt - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58462) - you deserved it (3710)
On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58505) - you deserved it (156474)
On 07/03/2009 at 10:16am - misc - by shandrith (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was chatting with an amazing guy online. He was perfect for me. After five hours he told me he loved me and I said it back. So than we decided to trade nudes. I sent mine. Within two seconds my niece calls, laughing her ass off, telling me how weird my birthmark is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10716) - you deserved it (75511)
On 07/03/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Uriah (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my mom had a talk with me while my dad was out. She said to stop using her lotion for my masturbation sessions. I asked her how long did she know. She replied with, "Ever since we put up that camera in the living room for burglars, where you happen to watch your porn." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21939) - you deserved it (34270)
On 06/30/2009 at 12:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37916) - you deserved it (11542)
On 06/29/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Asterisk1009 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6218) - you deserved it (87330)
On 06/27/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by notinflammable (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39399) - you deserved it (23760)
On 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm - misc - by LondonKitsch (woman) - United States
Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58994) - you deserved it (30948)
On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72548) - you deserved it (10076)
On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while reading some chemistry notes I came across the term "solid water". Completely stumped, I asked myself, "What the hell is solid water?" Then I heard my little cousin say "ice." I'm a 4th year science major in university. He still checks the closet for monsters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21672) - you deserved it (61469)
On 06/23/2009 at 10:19am - work - by uneek14 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43931) - you deserved it (2491)
On 06/22/2009 at 8:21pm - work - by the_captain (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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