About Armin : Being an itty bitty curious eh D:
I don't know what to tell you so: I'm Armin and from time to time I have outbursts of randomness and excessive joy. It's fun :D
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, as my son carried the cage with live food for his pet lizards up the stairs, I heard the sound of 2,500 baby crickets escaping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39977) - you deserved it (4574)
On 08/02/2009 at 9:29pm - animals - by cricketeer (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting a bit steamy. After a few minutes, he jumps up and runs over to the closet and puts on a long brown jacket putting the hood over to his eyes. He looks me in the eyes and says 'I am Obi Wan Kenobi and I'm going to slay you with my light saber'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44413) - you deserved it (8680)
On 08/02/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by dam01 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up random names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59662) - you deserved it (12179)
On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the doctors getting a pap smear and she asked if it was alright if a doctor in training could come in to observe. I was already laying on the table with my feet in the stirups so everything was in plain sight. When the man came in to observe I looked up to see my brother in law. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40222) - you deserved it (1744)
On 07/30/2009 at 1:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32136) - you deserved it (2870)
On 07/30/2009 at 9:56am - kids - by Rae (woman) - United States - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40276) - you deserved it (7050)
On 07/28/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by bsaucedo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (92321) - you deserved it (27501)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States
Today, I decided to make a place in my house for my friends to sign called “The Friend Wall." By sign I meant sign, not draw body parts. This afternoon I ate lunch next to a basketball-sized vagina and a monumentally large blue and purple penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8825) - you deserved it (42789)
On 07/25/2009 at 2:32pm - misc - by rbates - United States (Florida)
Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13796) - you deserved it (54804)
On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States
Today, I set up a camera in my kitchen to see who was stealing my cookies. Turns out my mom had her boyfriend over. Good news, the cookies are safe. Bad news, I now have something recorded that I never wanted to see in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34831) - you deserved it (9964)
On 07/21/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Pimp-Daddy (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was talking to the girl I've liked for 2 years. We were assigned partners for a History project so we were going to work on it at my house. When she asked me for directions, I told her I lived on Woodcock Road. She yelled slapped me and stormed off. I was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43961) - you deserved it (2116)
On 07/20/2009 at 12:04am - love - by thicklysettled (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, it was my fifth wedding anniversary. After an intense lovemaking session, my husband looked lovingly into my eyes and asked, "How do you feel about polygamy?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (47027) - you deserved it (2809)
On 07/18/2009 at 12:14pm - intimacy - by nonmormon (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32684) - you deserved it (7315)
On 07/17/2009 at 1:36am - intimacy - by Cyberella (woman) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzle-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36850) - you deserved it (6878)
On 07/16/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by joe1234 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31946) - you deserved it (4362)
On 07/16/2009 at 10:59am - misc - by MadMax (woman) - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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