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Aretha

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Aretha

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 508
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Aretha's favorite FMLs

Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML

#14136075
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33849) - you deserved it (2620)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:26pm - work - by grossedout (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in a parked car. A woman was having difficulties maneuvering out. She honked the horn repeatedly for me to move, then looked me in the eye and called me a "f**king bitch", before driving off. I was in the passenger seat. FML

#14130272
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28129) - you deserved it (2727)

On 12/08/2010 at 10:24am - misc - by agstadra (woman) - Canada

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

#13949092
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40426) - you deserved it (5368)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the cracks. I quickly looked away, and about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML

#13202314
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32971) - you deserved it (2492)

On 09/25/2010 at 11:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom walked over to the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML

#8354648
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29440) - you deserved it (2208)

On 02/16/2010 at 9:54pm - misc - by batter--up (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37303) - you deserved it (3314)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

#8158295
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30133) - you deserved it (2293)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I shared the story of my younger brother's unexpected death with a friend. After telling him the story, I looked at him with teary eyes and he looked back into my eyes and said "I understand how you feel. That is almost as bad as when I lost my cat last spring term." FML

#6914184
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29619) - you deserved it (2855)

On 12/24/2009 at 12:31am - animals - by Beeh (woman) - United States

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as a walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

#6472214
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28541) - you deserved it (7832)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by fartlover (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

#5974378
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32913) - you deserved it (8709)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML

#5954141
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11590) - you deserved it (43913)

On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

#4619260
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72458) - you deserved it (5794)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75216) - you deserved it (6517)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, as I opened my diary to write a new entry, I noticed that every page had little side notes about what I had written. It had an extra long note on the page where I wrote about losing my virginity in great detail. All of the notes ended with "Love, Mom." FML

#4346693
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47283) - you deserved it (8154)

On 08/06/2009 at 10:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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