About AquariusMaddy : Hi, I'm Maddy. I'm a student with tons of work to do, so coming on FML usually isn't a good idea...but I do it anyways(:
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Today, I was upset because my brother, who I'm very close to, didn't call me for my birthday yesterday. I told my mom about it, and we both immediately went silent on the phone, as we both realized she forgot to call me yesterday as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34312) - you deserved it (2279)
On 01/23/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by birthday_loser (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31439) - you deserved it (1963)
On 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm - kids - by Female (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17016) - you deserved it (29658)
On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28089) - you deserved it (2430)
On 01/20/2013 at 2:28pm - love - by maybe dead in a day (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14997) - you deserved it (27274)
On 01/20/2013 at 11:34am - animals - by DrakeB (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29510) - you deserved it (2562)
On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States
Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29409) - you deserved it (2726)
On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25877) - you deserved it (10107) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/18/2013 at 6:39am - animals - by dormeur - Sent from mobile version
Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24614) - you deserved it (10436)
On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24433) - you deserved it (1507)
On 01/16/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by Kallian - United States
Today, my mother-in-law gave me a bottle of champagne for my birthday. This is the third year in a row she has done this. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and she's well aware of that fact. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31266) - you deserved it (1872)
Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25729) - you deserved it (1832)
On 01/15/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by veggieluver (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34692) - you deserved it (3777)
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16092) - you deserved it (25769)
On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, both my brother and sister missed my wedding. She was playing in a Call of Duty tournament, and he got so high that he forgot about the wedding completely. He was my best man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40546) - you deserved it (2332)
On 01/14/2013 at 12:36pm - misc - by What a happy day (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Monday 20 May 2013
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