AquariusMaddy

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AquariusMaddy

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3991
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About AquariusMaddy : Hi, I'm Maddy. I'm a student with tons of work to do, so coming on FML usually isn't a good idea...but I do it anyways(:

AquariusMaddy's FML badges

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AquariusMaddy's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML

by adam / 02/03/2010 at 3:10pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I went indoor rock climbing with my uncle and his 5 year-old girl. I'm about halfway up the hardest ascent when my arm cramps up. As I stretched my arm, my cousin yells up at me in her tiny voice, "Prove you're a man and climb that wall!" I fell off. I was emasculated by a 5 year-old. FML

by Anonymous / 02/02/2010 at 7:01pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was taking my dogs for a walk, then it started to rain, and the wind went mad. I ran for cover in the trees near a bridge, slipped and fell into a river. I was soaking wet and my boots were full of water. Then to get back out of the river, I had to use stinging nettles as hand holds. FML

by Jammy238 / 02/01/2010 at 12:27am / Animals

Today, I went to a camp my friend invited me to, thinking we'd just be roasting marshmallows all day and hanging out outside. Nope. It was a soul searching, "get closer to Jesus" camp. The first five hours were spent repeatedly praying and singing. I'm not a Christian. FML

by purple / 01/29/2010 at 6:22am / Miscellaneous

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

by Oops / 01/14/2010 at 10:55am / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I almost crashed my car because I was checking out an Old Navy mannequin wearing a bra. FML

by Creepster / 01/13/2010 at 1:31am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my wife and newborn baby girl home from the hospital. While waiting for the elevator, an elderly couple leaned over, saw our baby, and said, "Look, it's the fat kid that was in the nursery." My baby is six and a half pounds, and my wife hasn't stopped crying. FML

by mickey1928 / 01/12/2010 at 8:10am / Kids

Today, I took my wife and newborn baby girl home from the hospital. While waiting for the elevator, an elderly couple leaned over, saw our baby, and said, "Look, it's the fat kid that was in the nursery." My baby is six and a half pounds, and my wife hasn't stopped crying. FML

by mickey1928 / 01/12/2010 at 8:10am / Kids

Today, the instructions on my new IKEA bed made me cry. It includes a picture of a person working alone with a frown crossed out and is replaced by two smiling people working together. I have no one in my life to help me. FML

by hatelife / 12/30/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I got a call from a girl I fell madly in love with 8 years ago. She disappeared from my life with no trace. Turns out she just finalized her divorce, has 2 wild kids, packed on 75 lbs, has $25,000 in debt and is taking meds to keep from going crazy. Now she wants me back. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2009 at 12:03am / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2009 at 3:47am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML

by Ghost / 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend, who's a bit older than me, introduced me to his daughter. I was expecting a toddler. Nope, she's a year older than me. FML

by ohcrap / 12/10/2009 at 7:28pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend, who's a bit older than me, introduced me to his daughter. I was expecting a toddler. Nope, she's a year older than me. FML

by ohcrap / 12/10/2009 at 7:28pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous