About AquariusMaddy : Hi, I'm Maddy. I'm a student with tons of work to do, so coming on FML usually isn't a good idea...but I do it anyways(:
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Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34322) - you deserved it (16688)
On 04/10/2013 at 9:26am - kids - by fatmom (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, my halitosis was so bad that when I blew onto my solution in chemistry class, it reacted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22915) - you deserved it (7004) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/09/2013 at 6:29am - health - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29528) - you deserved it (6071)
On 04/07/2013 at 9:47pm - health - by poopy pants - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30933) - you deserved it (4454)
On 04/07/2013 at 10:51am - work - by confused - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45586) - you deserved it (4127)
On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. We got on the subject of theatre, and his dad brought up "The Book of Mormon", how finally someone was making fun of those "nasty, polygamist, cultist freaks", and if his son ever dated one, he would disown him. I'm Mormon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32344) - you deserved it (11434)
On 04/03/2013 at 1:48am - love - by kenabrookee - United States (California)
Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19040) - you deserved it (57863)
On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I went to visit some family out of state for my niece's birthday. I couldn't think of what to get an 8-year-old so I got her a Barbie doll. Everyone else got her money, iPods, game consoles, etc. When she got to mine she asked "how do I turn it on?" Then threw it away when she couldn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38562) - you deserved it (3270)
On 03/31/2013 at 9:32am - kids - by The_Black_Jesus - United States
Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34028) - you deserved it (3726)
On 03/31/2013 at 3:00am - misc - by Mr.no contacts (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He slowly turned to face me, raised an eyebrow, and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17023) - you deserved it (45916)
On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)
Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29906) - you deserved it (2798)
On 03/29/2013 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friends were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40160) - you deserved it (2134)
On 03/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Hellosinglelife (man) - Trinidad and Tobago (Saint George)
Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27887) - you deserved it (11993)
On 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)
Today, while on vacation, I think I met my soul-mate, and quite possibly the love of my life. My vacation is to celebrate my 8-year anniversary with my husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16125) - you deserved it (40865)
On 03/28/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by not funny but :( (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
I agree, your life sucks (59709) - you deserved it (5743)
On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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