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Today, there were a few loud and annoying kids running around my store. My coworker and I started talking and I jokingly stated "Yeah, kids ruin everything." But before I could get out "God knows I'm not ready to be a dad," my phone rang. It was my one night stand. I'm going to be a daddy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9708) - you deserved it (51521)
On 09/24/2010 at 7:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I finally quit my job after talking with a friend about making our own design/multimedia company. While I was on my way to his house, he called me and told me not to quit because he got an awesome job offer and couldn't refuse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19996) - you deserved it (6236)
On 09/22/2010 at 3:22pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)
Today, I was conducting interviews and I could tell this particular candidate was really nervous, so I was extra nice. At the end, he was reluctant to shake my hand. On the way out I realised why: I had lost the top button on my low cut top, and he was nursing his appreciation of the view. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16279) - you deserved it (5820)
On 09/22/2010 at 4:49am - work - by pizzacat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, a crying kid was brought to my attention by a customer. He was so upset from losing his mom that he couldn't say his name or his moms name. I took him around the store asking him to point out his mom. Once we found her she told me "I was hiding from my kid to test his independence." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27658) - you deserved it (1665)
On 09/19/2010 at 12:27am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my boss reached over and yanked up my shirt right above my breasts while she said, "I'm all for flaunting it if you've got it, but don't reveal that much cleavage, there are dirty old men that work here." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11848) - you deserved it (26647)
On 09/15/2010 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that the man who came into work yesterday, the man who tried to grope me from over the counter, the one who spat his drink in my face, the one who kicked me in the shins when he didn't like the way his food tasted, is a regular and I can expect him three times a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23187) - you deserved it (1758)
On 09/12/2010 at 12:52pm - work - by yeahno (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that the man who came into work yesterday, the man who tried to grope me from over the counter, the one who spat his drink in my face, the one who kicked me in the shins when he didn't like the way his food tasted, is a regular and I can expect him three times a week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23187) - you deserved it (1758)
On 09/12/2010 at 12:52pm - work - by yeahno (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I asked my mother if we were eating supper soon so I could take a nap. She said "no" so I went into my room and fell asleep. When I woke up, everybody was gone. My entire family of 6 went to Olive Garden while I was sleeping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21048) - you deserved it (3617)
On 09/11/2010 at 7:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31240) - you deserved it (7592)
On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)
Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6547) - you deserved it (27909)
On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out that my employers hired me under the assumption that I was gay. Apparently, they are attempting to be perceived as more open-minded. I'm not gay, but I'm afraid being straight could cost me my job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27142) - you deserved it (2708)
On 09/02/2010 at 5:09pm - work - by confused (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I got grounded because I have a picture on facebook in which I'm touching the crotch of a cardboard cut-out of Obama. My parents insist the FBI will see that and I'll end up in jail. My parents are crazy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26281) - you deserved it (12900)
On 09/02/2010 at 1:54am - misc - by ItsObamasFault - United States
Today, I heard two of my students having a conversation. One asked what state Arizona was in, and the other replied Canada. I teach sixth grade social studies and they weren't joking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26446) - you deserved it (6105)
On 08/31/2010 at 10:50am - kids - by teacher (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, at a restaurant, I was joking around trying to make my friend laugh by pretending to be a ninja. I did this by putting my napkin in front of my face. I happened to look over at another table and saw that a lady wearing a burqa was giving me the most evil glare I have ever seen in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19420) - you deserved it (17061)
On 08/27/2010 at 5:46am - misc - by CrushAdrenaline - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was walking with the dog. I was throwing a stick in the lake so he could get it (he loves swimming). A friend called me. After I was done calling another friend came by, and we went talking for a while. When my dog barked, I accidentally threw my iPhone in the water instead of his stick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10911) - you deserved it (26820)
On 08/26/2010 at 9:27am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)
Monday 17 June 2013
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