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Applecoral

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Applecoral

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 922
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Applecoral's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a substitute teacher for my dance class. I noticed at one point, he took out a camera. The principal came in, everyone was going crazy, and the teacher was dragged out of the classroom. He was taking videos and pictures of us dancing. Turns out he was a registered sex offender. FML

#1163738
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101637) - you deserved it (4678)

On 04/20/2009 at 7:05pm - intimacy - by seriously (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was petting my cat when my new mood ring turned bright purple. I checked the piece of paper that came with the ring and saw that purple meant I was feeling "hot, sexy, and passionate." According to my ring, I'm hot for my cat. FML

#1070820
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41814) - you deserved it (15383)

On 04/17/2009 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by shutupandsmile18 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was struggling through an exam and the hot girl next to me seemed to be flying through the questions. So I cheated off her. When we finished I asked her to lunch. She said "No, I just rushed through the exam so I can go fuck my boyfriend." I got shutdown and probably failed an exam. FML

#1001341
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9827) - you deserved it (85094)

On 04/15/2009 at 7:30pm - misc - by ananomoose - United States (Vermont)

Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML

#953150
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60131) - you deserved it (4547)

On 04/13/2009 at 4:09pm - kids - by shizzy09 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had hooked up with this girl and had finally lulled her asleep. I didn't want to stay so I quietly managed to get my clothes back on and get out the door without waking her. I made it all the way out of her building and to my car before I realized I had forgotten my keys. FML

#911522
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13656) - you deserved it (103040)

On 04/11/2009 at 3:38am - intimacy - by Smooth (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my girlfriend's friend told her she had seen me shopping with a cute girl. When I came back home my girlfriend punched me in the face and asked who the girl was. Apparently her friend didn't tell her the cute girl was my three years old niece. I lost a tooth because of that punch. FML

#910905
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89170) - you deserved it (4953)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:36am - love - by GotPunched (man) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML

Today, I was ringing up a lady and her daughter at the shoe store I work at. The background on my nametag is a rainbow, and when the daughter saw it, she asked her mother why it was so. Her mother looks at my nametag, then me, then turns to her daughter and says "Because he hates God honey". FML

#827000
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65196) - you deserved it (4532)

On 04/05/2009 at 11:14pm - work - by maconda99 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while showering, my 3 year old son comes to the bathroom and puts on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterward, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML

#807564
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37988) - you deserved it (86030)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:10pm - kids - by heytherexo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, bouncing at a local bar. I I.D.'d a girl with a group of people. I told her that next time she used a fake I.D., she at least should get one with a picture that looked like her. She started crying and ran off. A guy told me that she had been in a car wreck, and had been badly disfigured. FML

#745352
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51369) - you deserved it (66698)

On 04/01/2009 at 12:51pm - work - by tsardaukar (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I told my husband I was pregnant. He laughed and said, “April Fools, right?” then left the room, still laughing like it was the dumbest thing ever. Tomorrow's April Fools day. I really am pregnant. FML

#726526
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66685) - you deserved it (3775)

On 03/31/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was ringing an old man up in the local grocery store when I had realized all he was buying was 3 bottles of vodka and a box of condoms. While I was loading the bags into his cart he laid his hand on my shoulder and told me "I'd take you home with me but chances are I would be arrested". FML

#711978
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101598) - you deserved it (5284)

On 03/30/2009 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was at work at Panera. A blind woman came in, ordered and said other blind people were going to come in soon, because they were having a meeting. Later, a man comes in and ask if any other blind people had showed up. I told him there was just one in here wearing a blue shirt. FML

#697530
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18082) - you deserved it (85173)

On 03/30/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by superstar (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I finally decided to tell him I love him. He told me that he loved me too... like a sister! The love of my life has been sleeping with his "sister" for three months. FML

#653617
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65366) - you deserved it (4988)

On 03/27/2009 at 11:15pm - love - by Samsonites (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, our entire crew team was at a yoga studio for an introductory yoga lesson. All my teammates could talk about how hot the yoga instructor was in her tight spandex while doing the sexy yoga poses. Everyone, including the coach, wanted to do her. The yoga instructor is my mom. FML

#644152
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75617) - you deserved it (4272)

On 03/27/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by unitywoods (man) - United States (Maryland)



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