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Applecoral

Offline (the 04/19/2014 at 4:08am) | Search for a member

Applecoral

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 472
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Applecoral's favorite FMLs

Today, while working as a makeup artist in the mall, I was approached by a man who wanted to try lipstick (not unusual we do a lot of drag). While I'm applying it he starts to make gross noises and after a quick glance I realize he has a massive erection. He then whispers mmmm don't stop now. FML

#1745966
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74787) - you deserved it (3893)

On 05/08/2009 at 10:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML

#1737355
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59850) - you deserved it (14823)

On 05/07/2009 at 11:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking to class with my roommate. She didn't notice the car coming up behind her because her headphones were in. As I pulled her out of the way, she thought I was goofing around and shoved me back... in front of the car. I got hit and rolled off the hood. FML

#1719560
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (114730) - you deserved it (5636)

On 05/07/2009 at 3:11pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Toscana)

Today, my boss asked me to pick up some supplies for a presentation. I entered the store in the middle of an armed robbery, was knocked to the floor, and had my cash, phone and credit cards stolen. When I told my boss the story, she said, "So were you able to get the binder clips?" FML

#1682300
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60775) - you deserved it (2874)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:52am - work - by Jay (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

#1631197
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25699) - you deserved it (69730)

On 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a fast-food joint and ordered off the $1.00 menu to save money. Five hours later I go to the hospital with food-poisoning. After a whole day of not eating, crapping, puking, having tests, and a bunch of IV fluids, my $1.00 burger ended up costing me $2,000 in bills. Really. FML

#1547778
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (156740) - you deserved it (23900)

On 05/02/2009 at 12:56am - health - by Sick (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a telemarketer called for my dad. Jokingly, I said, "I haven't seen him for like five days...I'm starting to get worried," in my best child-like voice. Apparently the telemarketer called Child Protective Services. I'm 20. FML

#1490808
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14866) - you deserved it (62699)

On 04/30/2009 at 2:03pm - misc - by Telemistake (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was babysitting a 4 year-old with a speech impediment. I asked her, "Do you got your bag?" And she said, "No. I have my bag. Babies say got. I'm a big girl." I am 20 years old and in the honors program in my college. I was corrected by a 4 year-old with a speech impediment. FML

#1490336
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14239) - you deserved it (92363)

On 04/30/2009 at 1:42pm - kids - by Nanny (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as I was picking up my 7 year old daughter at my ex husband's house my daughter started crying saying that she wanted to stay with daddy forever. I asked why. She said her stepmom was a better mommy. Apparently the woman who broke up my marriage is now a better "mommy". FML

#1444168
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92495) - you deserved it (8160)

On 04/29/2009 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend when we started messing around. Things were getting really hot when he gets a call from his best friend whose grandfather had just died. As they were talking and I heard her crying, he unzips his pants and mouths, "She won't know." FML

#1404603
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64975) - you deserved it (6805)

On 04/27/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my best friend and I performed a rap to our whole school. The rap was "made up" by our friend. After the performance, a lot of friends asked me why I did a rap from Hannah Montana. Apparently the rap was off of a show for 8 year olds. We are 17 and people think we watch Hannah Montana. FML

#1336947
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14948) - you deserved it (50688)

On 04/25/2009 at 10:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I spotted one of my friends using the ATM outside our school's university center. I crept up behind him, grabbed his shoulders abruptly, and shouted in my best deep man-voice, "Give me all your money!" Turned out to be a poor, unsuspecting freshman. He gave me his money. FML

#1242967
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10960) - you deserved it (67401)

On 04/22/2009 at 10:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML

#1230911
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92169) - you deserved it (17293)

On 04/22/2009 at 5:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a substitute teacher for my dance class. I noticed at one point, he took out a camera. The principal came in, everyone was going crazy, and the teacher was dragged out of the classroom. He was taking videos and pictures of us dancing. Turns out he was a registered sex offender. FML

#1163738
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99726) - you deserved it (4546)

On 04/20/2009 at 7:05pm - intimacy - by seriously (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was petting my cat when my new mood ring turned bright purple. I checked the piece of paper that came with the ring and saw that purple meant I was feeling "hot, sexy, and passionate." According to my ring, I'm hot for my cat. FML

#1070820
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41247) - you deserved it (15245)

On 04/17/2009 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by shutupandsmile18 (woman) - United States (New York)



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