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Applecoral

Offline (the 09/18/2014 at 5:43am) | Search for a member

Applecoral

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 680
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Applecoral's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Applecoral's favorite FMLs

Today, I used the restroom at a department store. While I was in my stall, I overheard a little girl say to her mother, "I see someone wearing pink!" I remembered that I was wearing pink just as she finished her thought, "And she's pooping." She was peeking at me through the stall. FML

#2674765
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47209) - you deserved it (2957)

On 06/06/2009 at 10:25pm - kids - by Shelly (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to my doctor to get the morning after pill. I explained to her that the condom broke and I was nervous. She simply asked me "when" so I replied "...towards the end". I didn't realize she was really asking what day this happened. FML

#2503309
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13605) - you deserved it (59428)

On 06/01/2009 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by embarrassed (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I went to my doctor to get the morning after pill. I explained to her that the condom broke and I was nervous. She simply asked me "when" so I replied "...towards the end". I didn't realize she was really asking what day this happened. FML

#2503309
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13605) - you deserved it (59428)

On 06/01/2009 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by embarrassed (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was in the park for a walk when a ball rolled to my feet. Figuring it belonged to the kids not far off, I wound back and kicked. The ball had actually been kicked by someone else for their dog to chase and I ended up punting it in the head. FML

#2489611
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13681) - you deserved it (33887)

On 06/01/2009 at 12:50am - money - by steph (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got my belly button pierced. The guy put a small dot with a sharpie right above the center of my belly button so he knew exactly where to pierce. I also have a small freckle noticeably to the left of center of my belly button. Guess which one he pierced through. FML

#2399867
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45046) - you deserved it (6089)

On 05/29/2009 at 11:47am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at work as a cashier, I had a male customer come up to me and ask me what hours I worked today, like he has done for several weeks now. Immediately after, my manager calls my lane to tell me to watch out for that guy. He has been stalking a co-worker of mine. Apparently, I'm next. FML

#2393503
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42359) - you deserved it (3645)

On 05/28/2009 at 11:51pm - work - by be_nj (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my mom was driving me somewhere. As we were driving she got mad at a motorcycle driver telling to "get the fuck off the road." In response, the driver decided to spit into my open window. His spit landed on my face. FML

#2267007
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48810) - you deserved it (3709)

On 05/25/2009 at 3:43am - misc - by hahahah111 (man) - United States (California)

Today, a little girl at work was coloring a picture that said "Best Dad" on it. Wanting to be nice I asked her if she was making it for her dad for father's day. She looked at me with a sad face and said, "I don't have a dad..." FML

#2199355
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52156) - you deserved it (6244)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:03am - kids - by zbaby (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

#2019724
640 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27644) - you deserved it (271829)

On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)

Today, for my birthday, I got a Big Mac. FML

#2019418
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60811) - you deserved it (8813)

On 05/17/2009 at 4:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my friend Kate and I were helping build a playground. Halfway through, a construction worker asks where we go to school. I told him we graduated and proudly held degrees in psych. The construction worker stopped mid-dig, glanced at us sadly and said, "yeah that's what my degree's in too." FML

#2001814
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46946) - you deserved it (7816)

On 05/17/2009 at 12:20am - work - by blairheir721 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my father sent me a letter in the mail. He spelled my first name wrong on the front of the envelope. I'm turning 28 years old and my own father doesn't know that my name has two "t"s in it. FML

Today, I gave my 16 year old step daughter and her friends a lecture on respecting other people's privacy. Two hours later, I accidentally walked into her room without knocking. She and her friends were giving each other bikini waxes. Now her friends call me the hypocritical pervert. FML

#1885333
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13537) - you deserved it (72995)

On 05/12/2009 at 8:23pm - kids - by firewait (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML

#1862791
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77164) - you deserved it (6052)

On 05/12/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by Karmas3itch - United States (Ohio)



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