- Town/Country : Not specified
- Title : Miss
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- Number of visits : 3514
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- Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted
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You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML
by James4929 / 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm / United Kingdom / Transportation
Today, for my art project, I spent hours painting my whole body in black spots with acrylic paint. I then went and stood outside in the snow, naked, so I could take pictures of it. Only then to find out the camera was out of batteries. FML
by Boob / 01/07/2010 at 11:36am / United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead) / Miscellaneous
Today, I bought a new Siamese Fighting Fish. I was so happy with my new fish so I bought him an expensive lovely bowl, some weeds, and a toy for the bowl. I left the room to get the fish food. When I returned, the fish was gone, and the cat was sitting on the table. FML
by bels12 / 01/05/2010 at 12:15am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
Today, I had a large pimple on my temple. I decided to try the whole "put toothpaste on the zit to make it dry up" technique that all the magazines say to do. Not only is my pimple still there, but the toothpaste irritated my skin and my already large pimple now appears three times bigger. FML
by Zit-Blues / 01/04/2010 at 8:50am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 4 year old daughter was ripping out photos of the family photo book, I asked her why she was doing it she answered, "I saw mummy doing it to another book." The only other family photo book was the day we got married. FML
by Michael / 01/04/2010 at 3:50am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my birthday dinner with my family. Everyone was making an effort to avoid a certain topic. Later my 5 year old cousin gives me a nice hand drawn card of me and my boyfriend. Apparently no one had the heart to tell her my boyfriend had broken up with me on my birthday. FML
by Singleton / 01/01/2010 at 7:33pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I came home to find my Dad cheating on his new wife of six weeks. With my own mother who was supposedly dating "a real catch". Should I be happy that my parents love each other or pissed off that they're both whores? I can't decide. FML
by wheresthelove / 12/30/2009 at 12:03am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I found a diamond on the floor, which I could only assume was from one of my brother's cheap earrings. I was positive that it was fake. To prove it to myself, I ran it across my window, as they say only real diamonds cut glass. It's real. FML
by namehere34 / 12/29/2009 at 2:10pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML
by Anonymous / 12/28/2009 at 7:08am / United States (Washington) / Holidays
Today, I found out where my $300 worth of American Eagle and Hollister clothes had disappeared to. My 16 year old sister shredded them with scissors, took pictures of it for her Myspace and said that I deserved it for being a "conformist." All her "internet friends" said it was awesome. FML
by meep / 12/23/2009 at 11:05am / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids
Today, I updated my Facebook status to "It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood." My cousin, seeing the status, failed to pick up on the sarcastic humor. She called all my family members and tell them that I was pregnant. Including my husband in Iraq. FML
by notpregnant / 12/21/2009 at 1:12pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by budapesthungary / 12/21/2009 at 12:16am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to attach fifteen-pound weights to each foot so I could burn some extra calories while shoveling snow. My dad asked me to move one of the cars in the driveway. When I put my foot on the gas pedal, I couldn't take it off. I ended up hitting my sister and knocking her into a snow bank. FML
by Klamp18 / 12/20/2009 at 3:28pm / United States (New York) / Transportation
Today, a cute guy asked for my phone number and I gladly gave it to him. I was feeling really good about myself for getting hit on by the star football player. That was until he called 8 times and left 5 messages. In 2 hours. FML
by WhoaThere / 12/18/2009 at 12:23am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend's mother called me. She assumed that I bought him a PS3 for Christmas, and she and the rest of his family have only purchased him games to go with it. The thing is, I already got him an expensive gift. Now, I have to scramble to come up with the money to get this for him instead, and save the coat I bought for his birthday. FML
by countrygirl0118 / 12/17/2009 at 5:30pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous