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Applecoral

Offline (the 09/18/2014 at 5:43am) | Search for a member

Applecoral

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 707
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Applecoral's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Applecoral's favorite FMLs

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

#20576240
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43575) - you deserved it (4360)

On 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm - health - by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god (man) - Singapore

Today, a girl punched me square in the face, effectively leaving it with purple swellings because I called her boyfriend an "uncle". Said boyfriend IS my uncle. FML

#20571521
121 comments

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML

#20571278
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32471) - you deserved it (5265)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

#20488428
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38310) - you deserved it (2154)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm - work - by Fireguy92 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML

#20473479
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37945) - you deserved it (2397)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm - kids - by Female (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I received my soccer team jacket that I ordered a month ago. Trying to save money, I'd selected the "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee. My jacket now has "NO NAME" spelled out on the side of it, and I was charged the extra $20 dollars after all. FML

#20415162
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39056) - you deserved it (7192)

On 12/23/2012 at 12:01am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

#20414298
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48627) - you deserved it (6158)

On 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by orgasmicriding (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my bra clasp broke in the middle of a job interview. I got the job on the spot. I'm scared to report into work. FML

#20407793
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29845) - you deserved it (3784)

On 12/19/2012 at 5:06pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML

#18358033
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66562) - you deserved it (3225)

On 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm - love - by notsohappilyeverafter - United States (California)

Today, I moved into my new house. I went over to my neighbors' house to introduce myself. As they opened the door I saw a telescope pointed at my house. FML

#17066979
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33100) - you deserved it (2550)

On 07/11/2011 at 2:16pm - misc - by BMike - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I moved into my new house. I went over to my neighbors' house to introduce myself. As they opened the door I saw a telescope pointed at my house. FML

#17066979
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33100) - you deserved it (2550)

On 07/11/2011 at 2:16pm - misc - by BMike - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML

#17032745
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10445) - you deserved it (75539) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version

Today, I met my boyfriend's sophisticated grandparents. I politely introduced myself. The first words to come out of his granny's mouth were, "If something happens to him, you won't get a f*cking cent of the insurance money, you hear?" FML

#17019380
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33799) - you deserved it (2691)

On 07/07/2011 at 8:58pm - love - by Jessica - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I met my boyfriend's sophisticated grandparents. I politely introduced myself. The first words to come out of his granny's mouth were, "If something happens to him, you won't get a f*cking cent of the insurance money, you hear?" FML

#17019380
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33799) - you deserved it (2691)

On 07/07/2011 at 8:58pm - love - by Jessica - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, a business man in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML

#17017856
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53240) - you deserved it (3097)

On 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom



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