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Applecoral

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Applecoral

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1182
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Applecoral's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of Applecoral's badges

Applecoral's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss used Siri to settle a debate we were having in our team meeting. Siri responded by calling him "Daddy". FML

Today, I found out that my 2-year-old brother is afraid of his own penis. Whenever he doesn't have a diaper on, he screams, cries and yells, "Ew". FML

#21347945
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29997) - you deserved it (2450)

On 02/01/2015 at 7:43pm - health - by okseñoryoucrazy - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home late from work. As I got out of my car, I noticed a child-shaped silhouette in my bedroom window. I almost shat myself, since I live alone. I searched the whole house, sobbing in fear, only to find no trace of whatever or whoever I'd seen. FML

#21306286
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38253) - you deserved it (3158)

On 11/26/2014 at 3:45pm - misc - by void bowels() { cry(); } (man) - United Kingdom (Caerphilly)

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29802) - you deserved it (7892)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I went out with my best friend to McDonald's for a late night snack. Turns out she lied to me and just used me to pick up the boy she likes so they could go stargazing. I'm now laying beside them as they look at the stars and make out. I just want fries. FML

#21249351
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45167) - you deserved it (4746)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:55pm - love - by emilyparker - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 50-year-old dad was in a foul mood after taking an online test that put him in Slytherin house instead of Ravenclaw where he "belongs" because he's "so smart". FML

#20849955
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37561) - you deserved it (3269)

On 08/22/2013 at 9:38pm - misc - by thanksad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

#20837021
190 comments

Today, my hamster had babies. I came home just in time to witness her kick the mutilated bodies of her two babies out of her house, then crawl back in and go to sleep. Now my sister refuses to touch her and calls her a "baby-eating demon." FML

#20818742
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40735) - you deserved it (3786)

On 08/03/2013 at 1:59pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out via Instagram that my boyfriend didn't actually go to the Bahamas with his dad as he claimed. Not unless his dad lost weight, grew tits and long hair, and likes to make out with his son. They have no cellphone service, so I can't even call to break up with him. FML

#20815203
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54648) - you deserved it (3608)

On 08/01/2013 at 12:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML

#20702720
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82359) - you deserved it (3505)

On 06/03/2013 at 1:32am - misc - by Me - United States (Illinois)

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

#20701323
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69555) - you deserved it (4250)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68165) - you deserved it (19314)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64177) - you deserved it (5157)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64780) - you deserved it (5966)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, I tried to show my boyfriend's mom a picture of my prom dress on my phone. She scrolled to the right to find a picture of her son, naked. FML

#20642331
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42183) - you deserved it (73376)

On 05/05/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by beyondembarrassed - United States



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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Friday 27 February 2015

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