Apolloyn

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Apolloyn

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 5 September 1982 (33 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4375
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Apolloyn's page activity

Visits<b>captmiller1</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 4:19am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 10:29am<b></b> - the 01/24/2011 at 1:48am

Apolloyn's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Apolloyn's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me a magic trick. He filled a bowl with wine, pushed it on top of the ceiling using a broom stick, and held it up there. He told me to hold it and left. Taking my hands off the broomstick would cause the bowl to fall on my expensive new suit. Eventually, it did. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2010 at 10:57am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I was walking towards a group of guys playing basketball, who stopped and stared at me while saying, "Daaaamn..." As I passed them, one of them said, "She looked hotter from a distance." FML

by Marie / 07/27/2010 at 3:46am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, after going to the doctor to have him look at a rash on my man bits, I asked him how to get rid of the redness. He shrugged and said: "Don't worry, nobody will see it other than you and me." He's right. FML

by argh / 03/12/2010 at 7:19pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I met my boyfriends parents. I hope my charm and smile was enough for them to forgive me for not wearing pants. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2010 at 11:55am / United States (Maine) / Love

Today, while cleaning my car, I found my mother's underwear in the backseat. She'd borrowed my car last weekend because hers had been in the shop and she'd been called in to work. I see she put in for overtime. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2010 at 6:00pm / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, I was so bored at work that I put a zip tie on my finger just for the excitement of trying to get it off. FML

by Maxx / 03/06/2010 at 10:56pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I realized that over the course of this winter, there have been more snow days in Atlanta than days in which I have ever been on a date. FML

by lonelyashell / 03/02/2010 at 3:04pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML

by charliesangel123 / 02/21/2010 at 12:16pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Intimacy

Today, while my wife was watching me get undressed she said "Bloody hell, you really are getting a beer belly. And it makes your already tiny willy look even tinier." All her accusations are true. FML

by foutu / 02/21/2010 at 6:52am / Intimacy

Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML

by Rach / 02/20/2010 at 8:58am / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, while in bed with my game obsessed girlfriend, she told me I was a "noob" in bed. FML

by anonymous / 02/19/2010 at 8:47pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that when business is slow at my family-owned store, my daughter and another employee make a habit of sneaking away to the back room. I have literally been paying this kid to screw around with my daughter. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2010 at 3:36pm / United States (Iowa) / Kids

Today, I was having sex with a girl. While we were fooling around, she started squeezing my cheeks and told me I remind her of her son. FML

by Brett meek / 02/19/2010 at 2:41am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with a girl. While we were fooling around, she started squeezing my cheeks and told me I remind her of her son. FML

by Brett meek / 02/19/2010 at 2:41am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy