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Apolloyn

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Apolloyn
  • Town/Country : Knoxville, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 5 September 1982 (31 years)
  • Number of visits : 2494
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Apolloyn's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me a magic trick. He filled a bowl with wine, pushed it on top of the ceiling using a broom stick, and held it up there. He told me to hold it and left. Taking my hands off the broomstick would cause the bowl to fall on my expensive new suit. Eventually, it did. FML

#13851970
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24484) - you deserved it (10653)

On 11/15/2010 at 10:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking towards a group of guys playing basketball, who stopped and stared at me while saying, "Daaaamn..." As I passed them, one of them said, "She looked hotter from a distance." FML

#12139792
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27090) - you deserved it (3621)

On 07/27/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by Marie - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after going to the doctor to have him look at a rash on my man bits, I asked him how to get rid of the redness. He shrugged and said: "Don't worry, nobody will see it other than you and me." He's right. FML

#9029398
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20117) - you deserved it (2386)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:19pm - intimacy - by argh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I met my boyfriends parents. I hope my charm and smile was enough for them to forgive me for not wearing pants. FML

#9023853
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7047) - you deserved it (24546)

On 03/12/2010 at 11:55am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, while cleaning my car, I found my mother's underwear in the backseat. She'd borrowed my car last weekend because hers had been in the shop and she'd been called in to work. I see she put in for overtime. FML

#9001773
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17890) - you deserved it (1628)

On 03/11/2010 at 6:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was so bored at work that I put a zip tie on my finger just for the excitement of trying to get it off. FML

#8880583
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5564) - you deserved it (12390)

On 03/06/2010 at 10:56pm - work - by Maxx (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized that over the course of this winter, there have been more snow days in Atlanta than days in which I have ever been on a date. FML

#8774355
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15567) - you deserved it (3654)

On 03/02/2010 at 3:04pm - love - by lonelyashell (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

#8719561
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6341) - you deserved it (50114)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML

#8515469
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19003) - you deserved it (2281)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by charliesangel123 (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, while my wife was watching me get undressed she said "Bloody hell, you really are getting a beer belly. And it makes your already tiny willy look even tinier." All her accusations are true. FML

#8509840
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17367) - you deserved it (5985)

On 02/21/2010 at 6:52am - intimacy - by foutu - Sent from mobile version

Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML

#8472938
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7860) - you deserved it (25851)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:58am - misc - by Rach (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, while in bed with my game obsessed girlfriend, she told me I was a "noob" in bed. FML

#8455591
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15826) - you deserved it (5409)

On 02/19/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I discovered that when business is slow at my family-owned store, my daughter and another employee make a habit of sneaking away to the back room. I have literally been paying this kid to screw around with my daughter. FML

#8446049
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27521) - you deserved it (4430)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:36pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. While we were fooling around, she started squeezing my cheeks and told me I remind her of her son. FML

#8434762
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15913) - you deserved it (2550)

On 02/19/2010 at 2:41am - intimacy - by Brett meek - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. While we were fooling around, she started squeezing my cheeks and told me I remind her of her son. FML

#8434762
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15913) - you deserved it (2550)

On 02/19/2010 at 2:41am - intimacy - by Brett meek - Canada (British Columbia)



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