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Anya666

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Anya666

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 242
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Anya666's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

#20712090
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66709) - you deserved it (9220)

On 06/07/2013 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by what the fuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML

#20705435
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32409) - you deserved it (47555)

On 06/04/2013 at 1:15pm - health - by poisonivyretard (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, for a laugh, I put vanilla yogurt into a mayonnaise jar and went to the mall to eat it with a spoon. Too bad that someone called mall security on me for disturbing the peace. They shoved me into a back room and grilled me about what was in the jar. FML

#20632537
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40780) - you deserved it (18016)

On 04/30/2013 at 11:09am - misc - by longsock123 - United States (California)

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

#20565460
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44364) - you deserved it (15080)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when my upstairs neighbor decided to take the longest piss known to man. He moaned the entire time. FML

#20545680
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37897) - you deserved it (4315)

On 03/16/2013 at 2:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

#20543433
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46956) - you deserved it (9475)

On 03/14/2013 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my fiancée and I showed my mother-in-law a picture of the location at which we'll be holding our wedding reception. It's a beautiful waterfront building overlooking the ocean. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Looks like a good place to commit suicide." FML

#20543312
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33154) - you deserved it (2414)

On 03/14/2013 at 10:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia

Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML

#20543184
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18111) - you deserved it (35238)

On 03/14/2013 at 6:52am - health - by jen (woman) - United States

Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML

#20129296
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9631) - you deserved it (51836)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:25am - kids - by Bratty son (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about extinct peoples, and I said how close the Jewish people came to becoming one. She condescendingly told me they don't exist anymore. When I asked what she was talking about, I realized she was confusing them with the Vikings. What the hell? FML

#20126556
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20951) - you deserved it (2681)

On 10/21/2012 at 12:00pm - misc - by tempted to become single (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

#20097870
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26866) - you deserved it (3436)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

#19993573
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13948) - you deserved it (37101)

On 07/30/2012 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML

#19726729
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7172) - you deserved it (29680)

On 06/03/2012 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Spain (Castilla y Leon)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

#19580511
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30367) - you deserved it (3541)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)

Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML

#19563136
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31434) - you deserved it (6137)

On 05/02/2012 at 11:46am - intimacy - by winnerwinner (woman) - United States



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