Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Anumayis

Offline (the 04/30/2014 at 9:39pm) | Search for a member

Anumayis

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 October 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2354
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Anumayis : I'm a girl. just thought the blue edge looked nicer. :)

Anumayis's page activity

Visits<b>SolarFlare</b> - 3 hours ago<b>T2R</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 7:37am<b>Miizuo</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 8:21am<b>WatchInAwe</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 3:00pm<b>Llamassss</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 12:26pm<b>house51</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 5:45pm<b>lannisters</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 3:50pm<b>wassuploves</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 2:36pm<b>Schizomaniac</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 2:05pm<b>2i1337i2iscore</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 1:59pm<b>AfroCircusMan</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 1:49pm<b>bellebe1998</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 1:38pm<b>XxCatalyst</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 1:31pm<b>simplejack2500</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 6:57pm<b>niamhyo</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 5:33pm<b>gdduncan</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 6:35pm<b>sodapop83</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 1:40pm<b>cba7</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 3:11pm

Anumayis's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

See all of Anumayis's badges

Anumayis's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of examining me, my gynecologist suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and vomited on the floor. FML

#20826932
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55357) - you deserved it (15567)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:10am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Latvia (Jelgavas)

Today, my mum picked up a bunch of tissues that were scattered around my room. She examined them, then asked me to stop wasting her potential grandchildren. FML

#20825949
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47488) - you deserved it (38934)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, I realized I'm getting my period pretty soon. How? I started crying and throwing plates because I thought we were out of sweet bread. FML

#20825062
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37795) - you deserved it (14365)

On 08/07/2013 at 2:51am - health - by FuckYouMotherNature - United States (California)

Today, I came home a little earlier than usual, only to walk in on my dad frantically trying to remove a ballgag from my mom's mouth. FML

#20822450
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47797) - you deserved it (4317)

On 08/05/2013 at 5:42pm - misc - by NO NO NO (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51924) - you deserved it (8275)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

#20809292
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58835) - you deserved it (8738)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I returned from a long business trip a day early to surprise my wife. She was sleeping, so I climbed into bed and started spooning her. Thinking I was an intruder, she simultaneously kicked me in the groin, elbowed me in the ribs, and smacked the back of her head into my jaw. FML

#20805942
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42743) - you deserved it (24197)

On 07/27/2013 at 4:03am - love - by good_aim (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after 4 perfectly happy years together. The reason? He had a dream in which his dead former girlfriend from when he was 13 told him she still loved him. He now believes his dead childhood sweetheart is trying to contact him and I'm "in the way of their love." FML

#20805936
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57307) - you deserved it (4049)

On 07/27/2013 at 3:56am - love - by Immaculatedream (woman) - New Zealand

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about how I'm jealous of her best guy friend always hanging around her. She responded by saying, "Wait, I thought you knew I was dating him too?" FML

Today, the doctor told my husband that he is infertile due to slow sperm. As if this is not upsetting enough, my husband blames it on me. According to him, his sperm doesn't get 'aroused' because I'm not sexy enough. FML

#20800901
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59200) - you deserved it (5063)

On 07/24/2013 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Iamdisappointed (woman) - Sweden (Dalarnas Lan)

Today, I was working the drive-through at McDonald's. I greeted a customer with a, "Hi, how are you doing today?" His response: "Better than you." FML

#20795022
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45813) - you deserved it (7654)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend said she wanted to get a little crazy and try some role-play. "Act like you don't want it," she said. Without thinking, I replied, "Well, that should be easy." FML

#20790896
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28059) - you deserved it (48066)

On 07/18/2013 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by FootinMouth (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set straight dipped into the toilet and touched a turd. This keeps happening since I broke it, and I'm sure it will again. FML

#20790784
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37742) - you deserved it (10211)

On 07/18/2013 at 4:53pm - health - by broken finger (man) - United States

Today, while texting my boyfriend, I noticed that he copies and pastes old messages so he doesn't have to write new ones. FML

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53429) - you deserved it (18291)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: