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AnnaSeptic

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AnnaSeptic

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 32946
  • Number of comments : 120
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

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AnnaSeptic's page activity

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AnnaSeptic's FML badges

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AnnaSeptic's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my girlfriend to a very nice restaurant. I thought it would be a good place to pop the question. I gave the ring to the waiter and asked him to put it on her dessert plate. When she saw it she picked it up, put it down and said "no". Then she started to eat the dessert. FML

#211586
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80682) - you deserved it (4811)

On 03/04/2009 at 9:18pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Florida)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (232900) - you deserved it (30952)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

#206263
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26561) - you deserved it (41528)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at a party and we were all playing Seven Minutes in Heaven. It was my crush's turn to spin the bottle so my heart started pounding. The bottle pointed towards me! Then my crush said, "With her it'd be 'Seven Minutes in Hell'. Just skip me." FML

#198031
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (108792) - you deserved it (7152)

On 03/03/2009 at 6:00pm - love - by ILTali (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to visit my fiancé's dying grandmother in the hospital with him. She started talking to us about living each day to the fullest. His grandmother points to me and says, "Life is short. That's why you don't waste any time screwing girls who look like that." FML

#197015
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70448) - you deserved it (3581)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:36pm - misc - by joAnne (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she would give me a blowjob. She replied, "you know that won't happen, I'm a vegetarian." FML

#195442
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63474) - you deserved it (28411)

On 03/03/2009 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by Sal (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was sitting beside this cute guy on a bench. Suddenly, he goes, "I know we don't know each other very well, but would you like to have dinner on Saturday?" I turn to him with a goofy smile, and exclaim "I'D LOVE TO!" He gives me a weird look, turns his head and points to his Bluetooth. FML

#194587
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71590) - you deserved it (20091)

On 03/03/2009 at 10:38am - misc - by asdfasdf - United States (Virginia)

Today, my parents refused to visit me at college because "the flights are too expensive." They are currently shopping for a new car to replace my mother's two-year-old Porsche. FML

#188940
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74256) - you deserved it (3467)

On 03/02/2009 at 8:57pm - money - by Vahootie (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was meeting friends for dinner at an Indian restaurant. I was waiting for the group to arrive and our table to be ready. An Indian man approached me smiling, so I said "We're not ready for our table yet". Then I realized it was my friend's boyfriend who I've met several times. FML

#181594
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8733) - you deserved it (61662)

On 03/02/2009 at 9:22am - misc - by neelloc83 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I came to work, to find my creepy boss sitting in my office. I work the night shift, so very unusual to find him there. I asked how he was, and he replied, "I told my wife about us; she kicked me out." I've been working there a month. Also, I'm married and pregnant. So, excuse me, "US?" FML

#180985
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90964) - you deserved it (4683)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:10am - work - by oh_mylanta (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came to work, to find my creepy boss sitting in my office. I work the night shift, so very unusual to find him there. I asked how he was, and he replied, "I told my wife about us; she kicked me out." I've been working there a month. Also, I'm married and pregnant. So, excuse me, "US?" FML

#180985
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90964) - you deserved it (4683)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:10am - work - by oh_mylanta (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a blind date that my sister had set up. When I arrived at the coffeeshop, I approached a man waiting by the counter, asking if his name was Tim (my date's name). He looked at me and said no and then left with a drink clearly labeled "Tim" in bold letters. FML

#178001
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65007) - you deserved it (3917)

On 03/01/2009 at 11:20pm - love - by oprahahaha (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was babysitting this one year old. She just learned how to say yes so if you asked her ANYTHING, she'd say yes. I asked her if she liked vegetables and she said "yes!" Then I asked her if I was pretty... she looked at me and said "NO." FML

#171559
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59676) - you deserved it (13021)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:29pm - kids - by hi (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend was coming over so I bought this sexy corset, some fishnets, stilettos and see-through thong. After my dad left I dressed up and a few minutes later the doorbell rang. I answered it, whip in hand. It was my dad. He forgot his keys. I'm grounded. FML

#170978
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46586) - you deserved it (157207)

On 03/01/2009 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by thissucks (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was questioned about a request for a restraining order filed against me by an old woman. According to the report, she's seen me "walking near her house and waving at her" for the last two months. I've been her next-door neighbor for a year and a half. FML

#170541
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57284) - you deserved it (2173)

On 03/01/2009 at 1:37pm - misc - by Friendly (man) - United States (Oregon)



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