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AnnaSeptic

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AnnaSeptic
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 32432
  • Number of comments : 120
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

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AnnaSeptic's favorite FMLs

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

#3971030
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15705) - you deserved it (65961)

On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (130361) - you deserved it (8968)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at the cafeteria of my school with my boyfriend and he dumped me. I was kinda expecting it. What I wasn't expecting was that he'd start running in front of everyone, screaming "FREEEEEEEEEDOM!" at the top of his lungs and that he'd kiss the first girl he saw. FML

#2822887
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81430) - you deserved it (9229)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:39am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML

#2637147
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19962) - you deserved it (67453)

On 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a mall. A woman stopped by me, said slowly and loudly, in Spanish "baño?" Knowing a bit of Spanish, I nodded and pointed the restrooms out for her. She then mutters about "dang Mexicans and their inability to speak English". I'm not even Latina. I'm Irish-American. FML

#2308873
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59324) - you deserved it (3363)

On 05/26/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice "oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML

#2308066
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67590) - you deserved it (17465)

On 05/26/2009 at 12:53pm - intimacy - by alexis89 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

#2019724
626 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22017) - you deserved it (253212)

On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was showing my new iPhone case to my friends, saying how it was scratchproof, shockproof, and waterproof. I demonstrated it by dropping it on the sidewalk from about 5 feet. It bounced onto the road. Apparently, its not truck-proof. FML

#2018927
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12658) - you deserved it (93575)

On 05/17/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in a bathroom stall peeing. Shortly after, I heard a couple enter the bathroom, both extremely drunk. They then had sex standing up against the stall I was in, blocking my only exit. I had to sit, wait, and listen as both parties finished. FML

#1964368
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30451) - you deserved it (3121)

On 05/15/2009 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by dammitall (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after spending the night hanging out with a beautiful girl we start to walk back to my place. Halfway there she turns and says, "I wish you were a vampire" and goes back home. FML

#1834550
643 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83880) - you deserved it (6637)

On 05/11/2009 at 1:12am - intimacy - by Hallllo (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my fiancé proposed to me at the movies. The movie stopped in the middle, and my fiancé stands up, takes out a microphone and announces to the entire theatre that he loves me. Right when he went on one knee, someone shouts, "Turn the movie back on!", and throws a cup of coke at my head. FML

#1832318
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70459) - you deserved it (13279)

On 05/10/2009 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife of three years asked me to meet her for lunch at Subway. When I arrived, she was standing in the parking lot. She handed me a footlong sub, said "I got you a turkey sandwich" and followed it up with "And I'm leaving you." FML

#1727113
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79650) - you deserved it (4037)

On 05/07/2009 at 6:39pm - love - by Joey (man) - United States (California)

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

#1690188
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90292) - you deserved it (19961)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

#1683242
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54750) - you deserved it (19119)

On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)



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