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Today, the captain of my school's girls wrestling team asked me out. I politely declined. She angrily locked me in the trunk of my own car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26130) - you deserved it (4048)
On 02/26/2012 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I arrived in Africa to start my new job. I agreed to come to a city with little to no electricity, and poor water for triple the money I was making in Canada. I just realized my boss and I negotiated in two completely different currencies, and I'm now making half of what I used to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19220) - you deserved it (25369)
On 08/04/2011 at 7:45am - work - by Depressed (woman) - Sudan
Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31594) - you deserved it (7551)
On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)
Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8022) - you deserved it (52708)
On 07/30/2011 at 12:38am - animals - by loser4life - United States (Colorado)
Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (105397) - you deserved it (5808)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)
Today, I was propositioned by an incredibly pretty girl. I'm a 24 year old virgin; she's my best mate's girlfriend. She tells him everything when drunk, and he's a black-belt in karate. This could officially be classified as torture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27448) - you deserved it (4004)
On 07/07/2011 at 10:40am - love - by Junktown (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)
Today, I laughed when I saw my ex-girlfriend in her overall uniform, thinking she'd got a job as a janitor. Turns out she's as professional marine welder. She's 22 years old and earns my monthly salary in three days. My current girlfriend who was there with me called me a loser in front of her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8854) - you deserved it (43002)
On 07/05/2011 at 3:06am - love - by eatmywords (man) - Singapore
Today, Twilight once again won all the awards at MTV, beating out Inception, Toy Story 3, Harry Potter, etc. This is MY generation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (81037) - you deserved it (7243)
On 06/06/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by KillMeNow (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my daughter turned 18. She decided to use this day to tell me everywhere her and her boyfriends have had sex in my house to get revenge for being overprotective. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17492) - you deserved it (44236)
On 06/01/2011 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I went to the hospital as my girlfriends emergency contact. When I saw her, she was under a blanket because she had no pants. She had a seizure in a guy's bed and he brought her here. He's here and she wants us both to stay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44593) - you deserved it (3088)
On 03/24/2011 at 9:30pm - love - by tannerpaul -
Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62316) - you deserved it (11803)
On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30171) - you deserved it (24886)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, I called the car repair shop to complain to the manager about their tow driver who keeps making sexual passes at me. The girl taking my call started crying and said that their driver was her husband. I'm being sexually harassed, my car is dead, and I think I just ended a marriage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39225) - you deserved it (3006)
On 03/20/2011 at 1:42pm - misc - by WhyMe (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48126) - you deserved it (4719)
On 03/15/2011 at 11:50am - love - by notthedad (man) - China
Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88762) - you deserved it (4719) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Friday 24 May 2013
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