Aniland

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Aniland

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14139
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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Aniland's page activity

Visits<b>Dale_shackleford</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 9:50am<b>aloha_oe</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 12:17pm<b>helipilot47</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 9:28pm<b>speedy638</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 11:06pm<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 11:05pm<b>ManBearPig44</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 3:45pm<b>hasanjk</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 7:26am<b>kirbs19</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 10:11pm<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 8:30pm<b>DrMario_</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 3:08am<b>MoMan127</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 11:03pm<b>FOLT</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 2:16am<b>krisnick</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 11:57pm<b>ajk_157999</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 1:18am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 4:10pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 12:57am<b>arimylove</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 12:23pm<b>meatwhistle</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 1:09pm

Aniland's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Aniland's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

by Catscratch / 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

by ZSL / 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Depressed, I changed my Facebook status to, "Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, liked this. FML

by JazzSpazz / 08/11/2009 at 2:40am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend was complaining of a scorpion sting on his leg. I told him to stop whining and get over it. Later, as I went to sleep, I felt a sharp pain in my arm. As I flipped on the light, I saw a scorpion crawling over the blankets. Now my entire arm is numb and I can't stop crying. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2009 at 11:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work I noticed that the last of my pencils had been taken from my desk. I assumed it was the coworker who I've talked to at least ten times regarding taking my stationery. I approached her and, feeling brave, yelled at her in front of the entire office. I was holding the pencil. FML

by cosmonaut / 08/07/2009 at 5:18am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Work

Today, I was puked on for the third time in three years at our annual choir concert. What makes it so significant? The fact that the same guy pukes on me every year from stage fright. We're arranged alphabetically, and he's always in the row RIGHT above me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2009 at 5:27pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I have an option on my phone to postpone the sending of my text messages. I thought it would be cute to send my boyfriend texts saying, " I love you and sweet dreams" every night at midnight for a month. He broke up with me and I can't figure out how to stop the texts. FML

by Optimist / 08/04/2009 at 4:26am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working as a host at a pasta dinner. The hostess I was working with was very attractive and we were flirting quite a bit. A large woman walked in to be seated, and I leaned over to her and dared her to ask the woman if she wanted two chairs. She leaned back and said "that's my mom". FML

by bigmouth / 08/02/2009 at 3:35am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my cat ran outside. As I ran around the side of my house to get her, I felt a gigantic spiderweb land on my face. I also felt a light thud on my eye and it started to tear up. I ran inside and looked in a mirror, the spider was in my eye. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2009 at 12:32am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I found out if you slide down the stairs on a foam matress topper, it just folds under instead of sliding. Then you slide the rest of the way down on your knees and break your nose at the bottom. FML

by ohhmydamn / 07/31/2009 at 5:12pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, my little 7 and 6 year old cousins came visit my family home. I heard the oldest one say that my sister was nice and pretty. Then the youngest replied "Yeah, but the older one has the face of a murderer." FML

by BadMurderer / 07/31/2009 at 12:01am / Mexico (Tabasco) / Kids

Today, was my grandmother's funeral and we had to sing. My dad is a horrible singer, and I tried my hardest not to laugh, I turned red faced and tears were falling from my eyes. My step mother held my hand and said that she was in a better place. I couldn't hold it any longer. I laughed my ass off. FML

Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML

by 4yrldkicker / 07/29/2009 at 4:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, a friend asked me if I could help him set up the stage for his wedding. Feeling honored that he considered me a close enough friend to aid him on his special day, I agreed to help. Turns out we aren't so close. I was asked to leave after I was done because I hadn't actually been invited. FML

by partypooper / 07/28/2009 at 2:34am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a friend asked me if I could help him set up the stage for his wedding. Feeling honored that he considered me a close enough friend to aid him on his special day, I agreed to help. Turns out we aren't so close. I was asked to leave after I was done because I hadn't actually been invited. FML

by partypooper / 07/28/2009 at 2:34am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous