About AngelRaven89 : Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20902) - you deserved it (9425)
On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37803) - you deserved it (6085)
On 12/01/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by xXxJoe16xXx - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49651) - you deserved it (13466)
On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (91488) - you deserved it (27402)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States
Today, my boss walked in my office to see me busy making a little Post-it dress for my pen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9585) - you deserved it (40114)
On 07/09/2009 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Midi-Pyrenees)
Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25497) - you deserved it (58781)
On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I had a really big debate in my English Class about the legalization of weed. My group had to state reasons why weed shouldn't be legal and no one except me had prepared. My partner came to class totally stoned. Our group lost the debate. We got a F. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41434) - you deserved it (5639)
On 06/01/2009 at 2:52am - misc - by crazyjohnny - United States (California)
Today, I sent everyone a text on my phone book saying, "Happy Star Wars Day!!! May the Fourth be with you!!" I forgot to uncheck my exgirlfriend's number. She texted back, "one of the many reasons I broke up with you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21258) - you deserved it (53354)
On 05/04/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by 1suckatL1fe - United States (Virginia)
Today, my first graders released the butterflies we've been raising. The kids were sad that one had died in his cocoon and wouldn't be set free. Turns out that butterfly may have had a better fate: a flock of birds ate half of the others. Immediately after releasing them. In front of the kids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57861) - you deserved it (3644)
On 04/29/2009 at 12:30pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64258) - you deserved it (158391)
On 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18951) - you deserved it (62035)
On 03/11/2009 at 8:26pm - intimacy - by HansonLUVR (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (460606) - you deserved it (572271)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
