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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Today, after several hours of trying to get my triplet daughters to go to bed, they finally fell asleep. Exhausted, I went to the bathroom so I could go to bed. Not thinking about it, I dropped the toilet seat down rather loudly and flushed the toilet. All three girls woke up crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22589) - you deserved it (18535)
On 06/25/2010 at 2:44am - kids - by sigh... - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that we have six skunks under my shed. While I was mowing the lawn, they all came out and sprayed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30064) - you deserved it (3254)
On 06/17/2010 at 12:12pm - misc - by pritch44 - United States (Indiana)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. While I was asleep, he drew a face on my stomach and when I woke up he was talking to it. He said it would be less weird if he was talking to my stomach with a face on it, representing the baby. According to him, our child is going to have a mustache. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14737) - you deserved it (18247)
On 06/14/2010 at 7:13pm - kids - by gibsonSG323 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31834) - you deserved it (2951)
On 03/15/2010 at 3:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6370) - you deserved it (23001)
On 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm - misc - by Numbnuts (man) - United States (California)
Today, my throat is really swollen so I can only drink liquid. I noticed home-made ice-lollies in the freezer and had one. It tasted funny. Turns out my little brother had peed in one of those ice-lolly box and put it in the freezer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24460) - you deserved it (2390)
On 03/03/2010 at 10:09am - health - by icegirl (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)
Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5230) - you deserved it (40093)
On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I realized explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the alter while my husband said his vows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45601) - you deserved it (2034)
Today, my neighbor's dog bit me, it was extremely painful. The gash in my leg was deep and bleeding like crazy. When I finally got into my house screaming in agonizing pain, my mother said "Quit bitching, walk it off and you'll be fine." My leg is purple now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20106) - you deserved it (2005)
On 02/14/2010 at 12:07am - health - by dogbait - Sent from mobile version
Today, I caught my boyfriend of 8 years cheating on me. I punched him in the face, he broke up with me. And I still had to cook him an entire turkey dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7965) - you deserved it (25588)
On 02/12/2010 at 10:30pm - love - by Pushover (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, the day of my 29th birthday and two weeks after our 10th wedding anniversary, the only thing my husband got me for my birthday was divorce papers. Happy birthday, bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23943) - you deserved it (3284)
On 02/12/2010 at 3:41am - love - by Jeri (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend of a couple of months texted me that she was very sad because her puppy had just passed away. Feeling sorry for her, I bought her another puppy of the same breed. I wrapped it in a blanket and placed it on the passenger seat and went to pick her up from school. She sat on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23295) - you deserved it (5800)
On 02/10/2010 at 7:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37934) - you deserved it (2297)
On 02/09/2010 at 7:22am - health - by SickSmick (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I had to cancel all of the plans to go away on a romantic weekend with my boyfriend. My parents are going out of town for a night and I have to stay home a babysit my little sister. She's 19. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23372) - you deserved it (3375)
On 01/28/2010 at 2:35pm - misc - by bw9669 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my parents had a huge fight because my mom found out my dad was cheating on her. They screamed for half an hour. Right in the middle of my wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45816) - you deserved it (1494)
On 01/24/2010 at 8:02pm - love - by weddingbells (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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