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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26060) - you deserved it (9538)
On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)
Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20529) - you deserved it (2577)
On 11/19/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by Amanda -
Today, my boyfriend emailed me this morning to let me know that he had forwarded the joke that I had sent to him to all of his workmates and friends. He was quickly given the heads-up by one of his friends that all of our intimate emails from the day were also included. I'm dating a dumbass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19472) - you deserved it (6355)
On 11/18/2010 at 11:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47490) - you deserved it (6507)
On 11/13/2010 at 2:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After about minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40591) - you deserved it (13622)
On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16494) - you deserved it (46688)
On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my mother, my aunt, and my two sisters are all on their periods. I can't even brush my teeth in my own house without being treated like a criminal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36114) - you deserved it (4157)
On 10/29/2010 at 8:10pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my boyfriend got mugged. I found out because the mugger had the courtesy to ring me, after I texted several times asking where he was, to say "He won't reply. He got robbed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23823) - you deserved it (2050)
On 10/29/2010 at 2:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I was having the most wonderful bath. The water was steaming, the bubbles were bubbly, and I was reading a really good book. I put my book down to yawn and looked to my right. My gaze was met by the lovely face of my brother's pet tarantula. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27156) - you deserved it (2481)
On 10/24/2010 at 8:21am - misc - by mzgabbster (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I temporarily got off the bus for the other students to get off, because they push and shove along their way. Then the bus driver closed the door on me and drove off. My laptop was on that bus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21875) - you deserved it (10968)
On 10/19/2010 at 6:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27887) - you deserved it (5826)
On 10/16/2010 at 8:31am - love - by married - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my mom rolled up the car window on my fingers. She thought my yelling and crying was because I was throwing a tantrum. I'm 26. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21837) - you deserved it (2651)
On 10/11/2010 at 3:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was kicked out of class for having a coughing fit. Yesterday, I was kicked out of class for sleeping, a side effect of my cough suppressant. Three absents from this class and I automatically fail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23748) - you deserved it (2477)
On 10/05/2010 at 2:33pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, at work, I was called into the office by my supervisor, on whom I have a massive crush. He called me in to get my password to make some adjustments on my work account and asked me what my password was. I had to hold eye contact with him and tell him my password is his full name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14576) - you deserved it (34944)
On 10/03/2010 at 1:08am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32101) - you deserved it (2225)
On 09/28/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by Jake - United States (Wisconsin)
Monday 17 June 2013
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