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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Today, my mother woke me up and asked to borrow money. Still groggy, I mumbled where my money stash was. She took all $300 and refuses to pay me back because I'm her son and I "owe" her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24879) - you deserved it (5478)
On 12/31/2010 at 4:49pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I came home and was greeted by my dad telling me that he pawned my guitar for gas money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22637) - you deserved it (1595)
On 12/28/2010 at 9:52pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had to choose between living with my over protective dad who only uses me for free childcare, or my pot smoking mom who always needs to borrow money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29270) - you deserved it (1931)
On 12/27/2010 at 10:25pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I rented a copy How To Train Your Dragon for my young son to watch. I put the DVD in, hit play without paying attention, and went off to make lunch. A few minutes later, my son ran into the kitchen screaming. Apparently, there was a mix up at the rental store and I got a copy of Saw IV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31094) - you deserved it (8146)
On 12/25/2010 at 6:21pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, as a means of getting over my abusive ex, I decided to write his name on a piece of paper and light it on fire. As I lit the paper up, I noticed the marker ink had bled through it. The paper is gone, but his name is forever engraved on my desk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21554) - you deserved it (13131)
On 12/24/2010 at 2:36pm - love - by burnt38392 - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth taken out. I happen to be allergic to all types of pain medication. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29709) - you deserved it (2098)
On 12/21/2010 at 3:25pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was playing hide and seek with a few friends. I hid in the bathroom, under the sink in a cabinet. I ended up having to sit there quiet as a mouse while my grandfather took an incredibly long and vile dump. I was too afraid to move. Let's just say he didn't rush it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28536) - you deserved it (8181)
On 12/20/2010 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom after he had been in there awhile. I found him with his pants down, looking at a pimple on his butt in the mirror. He asked me for "help". FML
I agree, your life sucks (20484) - you deserved it (3056)
On 12/19/2010 at 12:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27479) - you deserved it (3058)
On 12/18/2010 at 4:11am - love - by anonymous - United States (South Carolina)
Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82671) - you deserved it (3840)
On 12/13/2010 at 4:16am - health - by Christopher - Canada (Alberta)
Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30259) - you deserved it (49774)
On 12/11/2010 at 9:44am - kids - by parentfail (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9248) - you deserved it (63980)
On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my grandmother told me to say "sofa king retarded" really fast. Not only did it take me several attempts to figure out what it meant, I'm now grounded by my mother for having a foul mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10327) - you deserved it (16274)
On 12/06/2010 at 12:03pm - misc - by bribreeeeeezyfreshhh (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35472) - you deserved it (2679)
On 12/04/2010 at 8:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50654) - you deserved it (6763)
On 12/03/2010 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Annonmyus -
Monday 20 May 2013
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