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Mobility
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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Today, I printed out a picture of the popular girl in school as a sort of 'model' for how I wanted my hair cut. The hairdresser taped the picture to the mirror so he could see. Halfway through, my 'model' came in for an appointment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22535) - you deserved it (15238)
On 02/15/2011 at 8:34pm - misc - by nerdychick (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34638) - you deserved it (6933)
On 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm - intimacy - by Katrina (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my professor's son died in a car accident and class has been cancelled until further notice. All my friends were delighted and cheered about it in front of me. I was dating my professor's son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (92834) - you deserved it (3528)
On 02/10/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I finally got a reply to the letter to a celebrity that I had to write for my English class. It was a restraining order. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24453) - you deserved it (5584)
On 02/09/2011 at 10:53am - misc - by PrestonW -
Today, I wanted to propose to my girlfriend, so I bought M and M's which I had customized with the words "Will you marry me?" on them. She ate them all without reading them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34862) - you deserved it (10364)
On 02/08/2011 at 11:57am - love - by Username - United States (Nevada)
Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59856) - you deserved it (5172)
On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was walking home from the gym. I was thinking about how proud of myself I was for losing 34 pounds when someone yelled from a car window, "Look at that fat lump!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27721) - you deserved it (2678)
On 02/02/2011 at 12:07am - health - by notafatlump -
Today, I was rudely stopped in the park by a woman screaming at me for being a slut for having a baby so young. She got so worked up that she started swearing. Not only was I just babysitting for a friend, I am unable to get the toddler to stop swearing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35004) - you deserved it (2373)
On 01/30/2011 at 9:46am - kids - by QuicksilverMaximoff (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)
Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27700) - you deserved it (5005)
On 01/23/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I beat her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34898) - you deserved it (2787) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32931) - you deserved it (21129) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I was on a plane. When my flight attendant brought me my drink, it had a lid and a straw. He told me, very seriously, "not to spill." No one else got a lid. I'm 18, and apparently I look spill-prone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16672) - you deserved it (2160)
On 01/16/2011 at 8:37pm - misc - by thisisme (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, it's the 3 month anniversary marking the day two friends and I shaved our heads as a show of solidarity for a friend starting chemo. Her prognosis is good and her hair only thinned slightly. We, on the other hand, look like a motley crew of lesbian biker chicks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19422) - you deserved it (7461)
On 01/15/2011 at 2:09am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I'm getting over strep throat. The antibiotics they gave me make me have diarrhea unless I eat yogurt in between each pill. That wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't lactose-intolerant. Yogurt gives me really bad gas. So I have to choose between painful gas or diarrhea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20309) - you deserved it (1842)
On 01/08/2011 at 5:16am - health - by anon7113 (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I am pregnant, sober, designated driver, and puke cleaner. Yay for the New Year! FML
I agree, your life sucks (19055) - you deserved it (5390)
On 01/01/2011 at 1:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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