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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Today, I was going to my prom. My mom knows I want to drink so to prevent me, she made sure I took my prescription medicine before I left. I guess her way of stopping me from drinking is killing myself If I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11155) - you deserved it (4176)
On 03/26/2011 at 8:26pm - health - by coolkid111 - United States (New York)
Today, in front of my family, my brother's wife announced that she was pregnant with their first child. Everyone joked around and said I was next. Two weeks ago I found out that I'm sterile. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41067) - you deserved it (2205)
On 03/25/2011 at 8:07pm - health - by dazzla08 -
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30165) - you deserved it (24878)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20828) - you deserved it (5093)
On 03/17/2011 at 2:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my husband bought a horse. We don't own any furniture, but we have a flippin' horse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43333) - you deserved it (5134)
On 03/15/2011 at 2:01am - money - by neverthefirst -
Today, I had a seizure. My dad responded by saying it always happens with my disease. I never have had a disease. Now I have to wait for my dad to stop yelling at my mom about not telling me, so I can ask what I have in the first place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37102) - you deserved it (2096)
On 03/13/2011 at 7:08pm - health - by aldfgadfklbg (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my brand new car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19537) - you deserved it (3237)
On 03/10/2011 at 8:44pm - misc - by JulieClaire -
Today, I was riding my motorcycle on the highway and wearing all of my gear - boots, gloves, jacket, and full-face helmet. Somehow a bee found the only spot not covered on my body and stung my neck. I'm allergic to bees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27011) - you deserved it (1986)
On 03/04/2011 at 4:22am - health - by Brandon Butler -
Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31596) - you deserved it (18210)
On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was leaving him because he's cheating on me. He then told me he will die without me. When I said that I didn't care, he said 'OK. I'll kill myself!' and then held his breath in attempt to suffocate himself. I can't believe I dated this idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40719) - you deserved it (10813)
On 03/01/2011 at 8:24am - intimacy - by WhyMe? -
Today, I cycled 30 minutes through hail and rain to get my pregnant girlfriend the crisps she was craving. When I made it back, she didn't want them anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30844) - you deserved it (5849)
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22531) - you deserved it (3299)
On 02/25/2011 at 1:44pm - kids - by Ldp56 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to get fitted for a new bra since mine weren't fitting properly. To my amazement, I wasn't a 32A, but a 32AA. I might as well have craters on my chest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25863) - you deserved it (3780)
On 02/24/2011 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. Everything was going perfectly, right up until he brought me back to his house to tell his family the good news. When I excused myself to the restroom, I overheard his mom say, "I thought you were going to break up with that stupid slut?" Welcome to the family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31770) - you deserved it (2800)
On 02/23/2011 at 4:52pm - love - by storyofmylife (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30321) - you deserved it (9992)
On 02/21/2011 at 12:01am - intimacy - by anonymous -
Monday 20 May 2013
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