Angel1000168

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Offline (the 07/22/2015 at 1:36pm)

Angel1000168

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9078
  • Number of comments : 95
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 23 posted

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Angel1000168's page activity

Visits<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 3:55pm<b>hare</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 1:17am<b>LiquidGoldRose</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 3:48am<b>Todesbaum</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 11:02am<b>BlueDinosaurs22</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 12:39am<b>PrincessKenny</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 1:53am<b>Tantive_6</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 11:16pm<b>Chronic_Night</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 8:18pm<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 10:06pm<b>Druu</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 12:50am<b>balboa_2</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 3:58pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 8:55am<b>a816090</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 9:35am<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 10:16pm<b>unc22casti</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 2:06pm<b>Jkalia</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 9:40am<b>Raveen</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 1:21am<b>eminemineminem</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 1:42am

Fucked!<b>Druu</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 6:50am<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 7:26pm<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 8:35pm

Angel1000168's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of Angel1000168's badges

Angel1000168's favorite FMLs

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

by Noname / 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, my best friend who I have been secretly in love with forever, was ranting about her ex-girlfriend. Then she said : "If only you were gay, we'd be perfect for each other." So I took the chance to tell her I was. She responded : "Well I am still not attracted to you though." FML

by alone_forever / 03/04/2009 at 4:03pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I was at a party and we were all playing Seven Minutes in Heaven. It was my crush's turn to spin the bottle so my heart started pounding. The bottle pointed towards me! Then my crush said, "With her it'd be 'Seven Minutes in Hell'. Just skip me." FML

by ILTali / 03/03/2009 at 6:00pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

by Noname / 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I went out to dinner with my family. I was given a kids menu when the hostess sat us down. I'm 24. FML

by morg2000 / 02/17/2009 at 6:23pm / Mexico / Kids

Today, my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML

by stillsingleladies / 02/17/2009 at 10:27am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

by peacock_mina19 / 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my virgin guy friend told me he wanted me to be his first. I'm a guy. FML

by DC / 02/08/2009 at 7:37am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

by bittersweet / 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

by hahahehehohohoo / 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

by caroline / 02/06/2009 at 10:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy