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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Today, I found out why my parents have been trying to convince me not to go to college this year. I also found out where the $20,000 they just spent on landscaping came from. My college fund. Which is now $0. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48622) - you deserved it (2169)
On 08/27/2009 at 5:16am - money - by noeducation (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I went to get food, I was late so my friend ordered for me. I took a few bites and it was getting hard to breathe. I realized it's a bluebery muffin, I'm deathly allergic. I look to my friend, she was laughing saying she wanted to see if it was true. I just got out of the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56664) - you deserved it (3929)
On 08/27/2009 at 12:07am - health - by Hellohaileyexoh (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was walking with my husband, holding hands, when a man with a rainbow shirt on came up to us. He said, "I'm so glad that gay men can go out in public without being embarassed nowdays!" He patted me on the back and walked away. I'm a woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41312) - you deserved it (4531)
On 08/25/2009 at 10:16pm - misc - by offendedfemme (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I discovered that the medicated eye drops I have been taking to fight a mild eye infection show up under black lights when I walked into a party and the whole left side of my face was glowing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24579) - you deserved it (2510)
On 08/23/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by SummerGirl0009 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40256) - you deserved it (123739)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (93898) - you deserved it (6048)
On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I have an extra key. I snuck into his bed with sleep with him and noticed how soft his skin was. Turns out I had been feeling up the girl he was sleeping with and he was in the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50459) - you deserved it (5375)
On 08/16/2009 at 7:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was very sick and kept throwing up. I took a shower after every time I threw up. While in the shower after I threw up, I had to throw up again, so I got out and ran to the toilet. I slipped on the tile, broke my nose on the floor, and then threw up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45164) - you deserved it (7562)
On 08/15/2009 at 3:51am - health - by Ouch (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I fractured my knuckle at the gym. My girlfriend offered to drive me to Urgent Care. As I threw my gym bag in the car, my keys flew out of the bag's pocket and hit her in the face. I spent the whole afternoon getting dirty looks from nurses because of my broken hand and her black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50931) - you deserved it (4241)
On 08/14/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I hit a parked car and fled because I was so scared. Four hours later, the cops showed up at my house so I broke down crying confessing everything. Turns out, they weren't there about the car I hit. They were alerting me about the string of burglaries in my neighborhood recently. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6920) - you deserved it (52622)
On 08/10/2009 at 2:28pm - misc - by hitandrun (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, me and my friend were following this hot lifeguard around a waterpark. In the wave pool, I decided to be cute and "accidentally" bump into him during the waves to start a conversation. As I prepared to do this, a large wave pushed me off my feet and I fell face-first into his butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9455) - you deserved it (38344)
On 08/10/2009 at 10:34am - misc - by klutz (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to the movies with my best friend. While waiting for it to start, I went on to describe this guy I really liked and how badly I wanted to do him. Just then the girl sitting behind us leans down and says "That's my little brother. So you're the creeper he talks about." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11653) - you deserved it (39534)
On 08/10/2009 at 2:12am - love - by HouseMdFangirl (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78730) - you deserved it (18476)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was introduced to my future stepmother, but it turns out that I already know her. Not only are we the same age and went to the same high school, when we were in the same math class together the teacher would often confuse our names because "we could pass as twins". FML
I agree, your life sucks (56422) - you deserved it (1940)
On 08/06/2009 at 4:45am - misc - by whatismydadthinking (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was in the middle of an intense orgasm when we heard the panicky voice of his little sister saying there was an emergency downstairs. He jumped up and left to see what the matter was. The big emergency? The Wii remotes had dead batteries. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45987) - you deserved it (6708)
On 08/05/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by some_girl_19 (woman) - United States (Maine)
Monday 17 June 2013
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