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Mobility
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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Today, I realized that the drunk-me deletes my texts, so the sober-me doesn't get mad. Well turns out, whatever the drunk-me said, caused me to lose my job, my girlfriend, and my coffee machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9218) - you deserved it (34212)
On 11/01/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I found a small bottle of chocolate milk in the fridge from McDonald's. I've been living with my grandparents while going to college and figuring they'd never drink it themselves, I took a sip. It had expired two years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7315) - you deserved it (24717)
On 10/30/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by pimdala_major (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was in my car studying on the campus parking lot. It was cold outside so I had the windows up. I had a severe upset stomach and was privately drowning in my own flatulence. Moments later, my crush knocks on the window to ask me something. I had to roll the windows down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22800) - you deserved it (4739)
On 10/28/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend of five years gave me the silent treatment, refusing to talk to me or do anything more than glare at me during the entire three hour drive we took this morning. Why? Because I slept with his best friend. In his dream last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52347) - you deserved it (5135)
On 10/27/2009 at 9:27am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24591) - you deserved it (3729)
On 10/27/2009 at 6:20am - love - by kahemae44 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had a UTI. After, taking some sample medicine my doctor gave to me, I had a lot of back pain and nausea. I also spent 6 hours in the ER with no health insurance because I thought I was urinating blood. Nope, "peeing red" is just a little side effect my doctor forgot to inform me of. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22747) - you deserved it (3392)
On 10/19/2009 at 2:09pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had a UTI. After, taking some sample medicine my doctor gave to me, I had a lot of back pain and nausea. I also spent 6 hours in the ER with no health insurance because I thought I was urinating blood. Nope, "peeing red" is just a little side effect my doctor forgot to inform me of. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22747) - you deserved it (3392)
On 10/19/2009 at 2:09pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I started my first day at work, I've been unemployed for a while and am in college, so naturally I have no money. At the end of my shift, I ask what we do with the extra bread, and they tell me to throw it away. Being poor and hungry, I decide to take the bread home. I got fired for stealing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36604) - you deserved it (6768)
On 10/19/2009 at 4:46am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, a person came into McDonald's, where I work. They ordered a happy meal. As they were an adult, I assumed the meal was for their child, who wasn't with them. When I asked if the toy was for a boy or a girl, they said the toy was for them. I still had to ask if it was for a boy or a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25847) - you deserved it (2561)
On 10/17/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by paris78 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML
I agree, your life sucks (34302) - you deserved it (1592)
On 10/16/2009 at 3:27am - health - by dentistvictim (man) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said "Have fun!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21422) - you deserved it (2285)
On 10/15/2009 at 9:59pm - health - by Rob - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was taking a bubble bath, and had my iPod touch on the side of my bathtub so I could listen to my music. My dog walked up to the side of the tub, looked me in the eye, and nudged my iPod into the water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9338) - you deserved it (38855)
On 10/12/2009 at 1:36am - animals - by bubbles (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64871) - you deserved it (4249)
On 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I drove my cousin to her wedding. The photographer said I was too ugly for the official photos so they searched the crowd for a good looking guy to pose as the driver in my new car. No one in the crowd stopped to defend me. My mom told me it's my own fault. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41323) - you deserved it (3217)
On 10/04/2009 at 2:13pm - misc - by CapeRanger (man) - South Africa (Limpopo)
Today, I was dining out with some friends when a hot guy on the table next to us smiled at me. Flattered, I smiled back at him several times. On his way out, he laid a napkin with his number at my table. I didn't notice, too busy looking at the yellow dress and the pink pumps he was wearing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22805) - you deserved it (4676)
On 10/03/2009 at 6:49pm - love - by badatgenders (woman) - Norway (Nord-Trondelag)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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