Andrewlostnow

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Andrewlostnow

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 4 November 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 698
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Andrewlostnow : "One day I am just gonna get off this bus and I'm gonna run in the woods and I am never gonna come back and when I come back I 'm gonna be the 9th master". Jimmy (The Rev) favorite quote & best turn around in the shortest period of time as told to him by Matt Berry

Hi I'm Andrew!!

and yes thats a Orange in my mouth!! Msg Me if you like.

Andrewlostnow's page activity

Visits<b>LissaLovesCastle</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 8:25am<b>chip993</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 6:48pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 12:41am<b>footbowl</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 12:55pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 10:19am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 10:41am<b>Wedgietime</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 12:54am<b>will5801</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 8:22pm<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 10:43pm<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 6:20pm<b>alimahlove</b> - the 05/08/2011 at 4:11pm

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Andrewlostnow's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

by kinky / 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the doctor and I had to get a "finger stick" in the lab to get blood drawn. There was a 6 year old boy waiting to go next. He was terrified. His mother told him to "watch this brave girl go first." I panicked and began to hyperventilate. The boy fainted. FML

by bosssssssss765432 / 05/16/2009 at 11:20am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was petsitting for my neighbor's new puppy. A huge thunderstorm came, and the puppy started whining and shivering violently. I pulled it into my lap to try and comfort it. One loud clap of thunder later, and the puppy had explosive diarrhea all over me. FML

by Puppysit88 / 04/16/2009 at 5:36pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

by lanbon182 / 04/10/2009 at 1:11am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML

by coughandcold / 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML

by firsttimer69 / 03/20/2009 at 2:11am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my penis over my jeans and said "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

by illequipt / 03/15/2009 at 11:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my best friend slapped me and called me a some colorful words before telling me that she never wanted to talk to me again because I supposedly slept with her boyfriend. Not only am I a virgin, but I'm a lesbian. FML

by xo_lezz / 03/01/2009 at 12:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

by Picaresque / 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids