Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Amkii

Search for a member

Amkii

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 265184
  • Number of comments : 786
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About Amkii : lol :)

Amkii's page activity

Visits<b>kyletg09</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:07pm<b>Sayori101</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 8:22pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 8:45am<b>holymacabre</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 10:15am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 9:55am<b>rootbeercheese8</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 9:45pm<b>helloimclaudia</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 4:40pm<b>Jarod11191</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 1:47pm<b>nMasty</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 3:08pm<b>MyWierdCat</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 4:03pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 4:12am<b>bravoal923</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 2:59pm<b>inkjet</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 4:36am<b>CriminalScrub</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 2:18pm<b>choochee02</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 2:30am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 12:13pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 12:20pm<b>helllno</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 6:02am

Fucked!<b>Kira_the_killer</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 7:34am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 3:47pm<b>megatron2416</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 2:53pm

Amkii's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Amkii's favorite FMLs

Today, to ask a boy I really liked to my school's turnabout dance, I gave him a box full of 10 cupcakes that spelled out T-U-R-N-A-B-O-U-T-?. The boy gave the box back a little later. There were two cupcakes left inside. It said N-O. FML

#152949
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (106135) - you deserved it (11745)

On 02/27/2009 at 2:35pm - misc - by justanaccount (woman) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML

#152596
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24222) - you deserved it (65530)

On 02/27/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by LuvShawn (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I hit a car while trying to answer a phone call from my mom. I quickly answered the phone and shouted "What!?". To which she replied, "I just had a bad feeling in my gut about you so I wanted to make sure you were ok." FML

#152273
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49135) - you deserved it (15745)

On 02/27/2009 at 12:43pm - misc - by wwasmer (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I fell out of the shower. It was still on. Bracing my fall, I reached into the toilet. It wasn't flushed. FML

#151604
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47031) - you deserved it (14869)

On 02/27/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by Ackbar (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was walking through the mall with my boyfriend of a year and a half. There was sign outside of the jewelry store that said, "Engagement Rings-No interest for 12 months." I said, "Look, baby! No interest." He replied, "That's right...NO INTEREST." FML

#151605
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26449) - you deserved it (48657)

On 02/27/2009 at 10:18am - love - by Ma.Sa.La. (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was sleeping because I had been sick. The closest bathroom to mine is the one in my parents room. I wake up and feel like I have to throw up, I run into my parents room to go to the bathroom. I walk in on my parents having sex. Shocked, I gasp for air then throw up all over their bed. FML

#148827
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (119699) - you deserved it (12892)

On 02/26/2009 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to go get a haircut and I asked how much it was for a haircut, shampoo, and a blow job. I meant to say blow dry. FML

#145421
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20196) - you deserved it (53539)

On 02/26/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by Stixchop (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took the subway. The man sitting across from me would not stop staring at my breasts, so when the train came to my stop, I said, "Nothing to see now, asshole." Then I noticed his white walking stick as he got up to get off. He was blind. FML

#144886
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12489) - you deserved it (76828)

On 02/26/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by belladonna (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML

#125499
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88032) - you deserved it (21994)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm - intimacy - by Menareidiots (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML

#125156
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61194) - you deserved it (7383)

On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by iliketurtles (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML

#125152
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19350) - you deserved it (48400)

On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while working on a medical school application, I asked my mom what she thought my greatest challenge in life had been. She replied : "Trying to lose your virginity." FML

#122918
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77047) - you deserved it (6312)

On 02/24/2009 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by Dr. Virgin (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I stopped at a lemonade stand on my way to work. A cute little girl handed me a mouthwash-sized cup of juice, and her adorable little brother told me it would be $.25. All I had was a $20. He shoved it into his overalls pocket, looked up with huge brown eyes and just said "Thank you." FML

#122747
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22200) - you deserved it (54857)

On 02/24/2009 at 12:47pm - kids - by ripdivine (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I drove into my school. Literally drove into my school. FML

#121869
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22317) - you deserved it (52910)

On 02/24/2009 at 8:43am - misc - by shilpajayseanfan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm reading in the subway sitting one leg over the other. An old lady sits down next to me. After quietly examining me for about two stations she leans over to me and whispers in my ear: "Girl, sitting like all the time will make you end up with a crooked c**t". I'm a man. FML

#121386
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47776) - you deserved it (5366)

On 02/24/2009 at 3:31am - misc - by jcc (man) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: