Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Amkii

Search for a member

Amkii

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 253197
  • Number of comments : 786
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About Amkii : lol :)

Amkii's page activity

Visits<b>qwerty401</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 8:24pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 1:59am<b>zxglle6382</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 4:10pm<b>akacruz</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 4:24pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 10:15am<b>mandybrown25</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:35pm<b>xJAGx1505x</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 7:44pm<b>J3wl3acca</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 3:47am<b>andyeatsworld</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 12:26pm<b>VisheshSood</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 1:47pm<b>MadJames</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 9:42pm<b>yourlifeisfine</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 7:54am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 6:55pm<b>Katie_9078</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 1:42pm<b>Voltze</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 4:31pm<b>Adam5858</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 8:02pm<b>nunchux88</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 10:31pm<b>M4tr1x</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 3:26pm

Amkii's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Amkii's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML

#4293059
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46850) - you deserved it (3103)

On 08/04/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by andi0804 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML

#4276253
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50169) - you deserved it (2941)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:40am - misc - by superfiedman (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML

#4270687
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45125) - you deserved it (7116)

On 08/04/2009 at 12:15am - love - by just_a_bit_akwRd (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was woken up by a loud noise, which I thought was an earthquake. It sounded like a car had driven right into my living room. Which was exactly what it was. FML

#4264267
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54770) - you deserved it (2090)

On 08/03/2009 at 8:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was woken up by a loud noise, which I thought was an earthquake. It sounded like a car had driven right into my living room. Which was exactly what it was. FML

#4264267
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54770) - you deserved it (2090)

On 08/03/2009 at 8:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. After a few minutes of conversing, he told me he didn't need to give me a ticket. He then asked for a date. I politely declined. After staring at me for a very long moment, he said "I think I'm going to have to give you that ticket after all." FML

#4255816
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44523) - you deserved it (24832)

On 08/03/2009 at 1:53pm - misc - by WearingOff (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to visit my girlfriend who lives 20 hours away. Four Red Bulls: $11.50. Gas: $200. Driving halfway across the country to find your girlfriend in bed with another guy? FML

Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML

#4235040
415 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14055) - you deserved it (118906)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by jeeperspeepers (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML

#4229570
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62786) - you deserved it (6850)

On 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by NoFriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, after a great night of sexual pleasure, I ran to answer the door. The angry woman standing there introduced herself. ''Hi, I'm your neighbor. My seven year old son's bedroom is just next to yours and when you scream at night he gets scared. Do you think you could keep it down?'' FML

#4228072
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42044) - you deserved it (30588)

On 08/02/2009 at 11:12am - intimacy - by kmb04 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was drinking at the local pub and started talking to a really cute guy. I bent down to pick up my bag and the second I did, I felt like I was going to throw up. I clamped my mouth shut in the vain hope that I could block it but as I stood back up, vomit sprayed out through my nose. FML

#4227186
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41981) - you deserved it (11001)

On 08/02/2009 at 9:40am - misc - by soembarrassed (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I realized how invisible/forgettable I am. At work, I went to ask my supervisor what I was working on today. My supervisor admitted that he forgot I was working today. My supervisor is my brother. We drove to work together this morning. FML

#4212428
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43665) - you deserved it (2871)

On 08/01/2009 at 7:10pm - work - by Forgotton (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having ice cream and I jokingly asked "What's better? The sex or ice cream?" Apparently I don't pleasure her like Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream does. FML

#4204058
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18249) - you deserved it (44031)

On 08/01/2009 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my Dad sent me an e-mail wishing me a "Happy 21st Birthday, sweetheart!" The message went on and on about how much he loves and misses me and wishes we were closer, and can't believe how fast I'm growing up. I'm 23 and my birthday is in December. FML

#4203551
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47827) - you deserved it (2417)

On 08/01/2009 at 9:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: