Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Amkii

Search for a member

Amkii

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 252419
  • Number of comments : 786
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About Amkii : lol :)

Amkii's page activity

Visits<b>akacruz</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 4:24pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 10:15am<b>mandybrown25</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:35pm<b>xJAGx1505x</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 7:44pm<b>J3wl3acca</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 3:47am<b>andyeatsworld</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 12:26pm<b>VisheshSood</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 1:47pm<b>MadJames</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 9:42pm<b>yourlifeisfine</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 7:54am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 6:55pm<b>Katie_9078</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 1:42pm<b>Voltze</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 4:31pm<b>Adam5858</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 8:02pm<b>nunchux88</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 10:31pm<b>M4tr1x</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 3:26pm<b>delude</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 10:41pm<b>alina_2bu</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 10:35am<b>gingalife8991</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 11:02pm

Amkii's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Amkii's favorite FMLs

Today, while having sex I realized two things. First, I can't remember the last time my boyfriend gave me an orgasm, and secondly I think the curtains slightly clash with the duvet cover. I was more annoyed with the second one. FML

#4527001
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44734) - you deserved it (9677)

On 08/14/2009 at 2:33pm - intimacy - by vicgal - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

#4525246
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59724) - you deserved it (7150)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went to the school I work at, to set up my new classroom. I'm 5'1" and I was carrying a backpack full of fun educational posters. I also have a new boss. When we met for the first time he was yelling at me because "there were no students allowed in here yet." FML

#4511131
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43952) - you deserved it (2554)

On 08/13/2009 at 9:36pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

#4505034
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34988) - you deserved it (78702)

On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML

#4503474
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11246) - you deserved it (129486)

On 08/13/2009 at 3:47pm - health - by Nick (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

#4501918
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44414) - you deserved it (11907)

On 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm - misc - by fearofzombies (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got my first facebook friend request in 4 months. I also got a message in my inbox. The message said: "Sorry, I thought you were someone else. Just ignore my friend request." FML

#4501015
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44909) - you deserved it (6919)

On 08/13/2009 at 1:21pm - misc - by Jamie (woman) - Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn)

Today, I swerved to avoid hitting a dog that ran in front of my car. The dog was fine but I hit a road sign, ripped off my rearview mirror, and cracked my passenger side window. When I got out to examine the damage to my car, the dog growled at me. FML

#4500553
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41154) - you deserved it (5872)

On 08/13/2009 at 12:49pm - animals - by animalover - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML

#4499935
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7629) - you deserved it (58503)

On 08/13/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by soapgirl (woman) - Philippines (Pampanga)

Today, I was late for a medical school seminar and test. An SUV flipped over on the highway right in front of me. I held pressure to gushing, lacerated artery until EMS arrived. He lived, but I might have to repeat the whole year because I missed a big test. The test? Emergency response medicine. FML

#4459199
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62312) - you deserved it (2581)

On 08/11/2009 at 8:58pm - work - by doctorchick (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was supposed to finally go out with my guy-friend that I have liked for a long time. He told me he would text me, and after waiting for hours for the text, I finally got it. It said, "Guess what!? I just got laid!" He forgot our date, had it off, and I congratulated him. FML

#4453766
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49161) - you deserved it (8074)

On 08/11/2009 at 4:13pm - love - by denied (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, a patient was late for a psychiatry appointment, after having missed his previous two. I am the medical student on the team that was supposed to do his assessment. I said, "You snooze, you lose." Everyone stopped and looked at me. Apparently, he missed them because he has narcolepsy. FML

#4433335
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13464) - you deserved it (44178)

On 08/10/2009 at 6:48pm - health - by psychedout (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a friend of mine was talking about how he'd spent over 30 hours on Call of Duty. I piped up and said "Oh yeah! Well I've spent well over 300 hours on Morrowind! Beat that!" To which he replied, "I've had sex. Beat that!" I couldn't. FML

#4432884
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22371) - you deserved it (62740)

On 08/10/2009 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Morrowindwhore (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, after selling their car, my parents decided to inform me that my car (that I paid for myself) is now going to be the "Family Car". They also informed me that since it is, after all, my car, I'll still have to pay for the gas and maintenance. FML

#4429159
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80921) - you deserved it (4122)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:05pm - misc - by thanksforthat (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: