Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Amkii

Search for a member

Amkii
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 248725
  • Number of comments : 786
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About Amkii : lol :)

Amkii's last visitors

melonsritz24683lucky1217Murilirumthe_rude_dudeTrollxifunny_FML

Amkii's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Amkii's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML

#6355609
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12117) - you deserved it (21173)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm - animals - by nycplywood (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML

#6321583
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24631) - you deserved it (2686)

On 11/16/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Japan (Okinawa)

Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML

#6315427
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8906) - you deserved it (31281)

On 11/15/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up with a bloody nose and my lamp next to me in bed. Apparently I grabbed the cord of the lamp and yanked while I was sleeping, and it fell on my face. The worst part? My boyfriend saw it was going to happen, but didn't stop me because he thought it would be funny to "see my reaction." FML

#6313431
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23249) - you deserved it (2734)

On 11/15/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by oww - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to see the cast list for the new musical I'm in. I didn't get the part I wanted, and instead I got the part of one of the suitors. Interestingly, they made me the suitor to my ex. And the guy she leaves me for at the end of the musical is the guy she left me for in real life. FML

#6298620
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37430) - you deserved it (2421)

On 11/14/2009 at 7:59am - love - by Indoraptor (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I fell asleep in a lecture. I laughed at something amusing in Dreamworld, but the laugh came out as a prolonged creepy groan in Lectureworld. I woke up to see everyone within a 5 meter radius staring at me. FML

#6286266
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16211) - you deserved it (10687)

On 11/13/2009 at 10:53am - misc - by teepee - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I thought it would be funny to draw a d*ck on my friend's binder while he was out of the class. While perfecting the drawing I realized the class had gone quiet. Looking up I realised my teacher had been watching me. I had to stand up infront of the class and talk about the drawing. FML

#6278567
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5740) - you deserved it (44243)

On 11/12/2009 at 8:32pm - misc - by MaiB (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I auditioned for a part and made it because the director thought I would be "perfect" for the part and I was "just like the character in every way." The part is for a schizophrenic drug addict who everyone hates and is stabbed to death in the second scene. FML

#6274583
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23902) - you deserved it (3658)

On 11/12/2009 at 4:37pm - work - by Falafax (man) - United States

Today, I realized that I hadn't shaved in so long that when the wind blew, the hairs on my legs moved in the breeze. FML

#6270063
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6244) - you deserved it (40936)

On 11/12/2009 at 6:17am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I realized that if you are too lazy to get completely dressed in the morning and only put on a top, you should not answer a Skype video call from your boss that involves you standing up, turning around and grabbing files from your filing cabinet all in clear view of your web cam. FML

#6264237
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6113) - you deserved it (33589)

On 11/11/2009 at 8:54pm - work - by julie (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my credit card number was stolen. The thief used it to purchase identity theft protection. FML

#6248047
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31548) - you deserved it (2223)

On 11/10/2009 at 8:17pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got an invitation to my "going away lunch" the company is throwing for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML

#6243390
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25586) - you deserved it (1324)

On 11/10/2009 at 2:16pm - work - by jobless (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I saw an adorable girl at the bar and I went to talk to her. I decided to use my cheesiest pick up line to make her laugh. After I said it, she knew who I was. It was my cousin I hadn't seen in 8 years. FML

#6238334
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21659) - you deserved it (10893)

On 11/10/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by Dummy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I told the woman that I've had a crush on for some time how I felt. She laughed so hard that water sprayed from her nose and hit me in the face. FML

#6221127
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25590) - you deserved it (2237)

On 11/08/2009 at 11:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was falling asleep on my desk, my head on my fist. My elbow slipped off the edge of the desk and I punched myself, leaving a fist mark on my cheek. At school, people think my parents hit me. My parents think I'm getting bullied at school. No one believes the actual story. FML



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: