Um, yeah, I end up with a good number of FMLs simply because I usually don't pay attention to what's going on around me. That in itself is probably an FML, but whatever.
I've been enjoying reading all the FMLs and I finally got around to signing up for the site because I was tired of not being able to comment. :-D
Today, I decided that it would be a good idea to spend a lot of money on a website. http://alyshadeshae.com/ Then I remembered that I'm boring and no one will ever read it! FML
Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36189) - you totally deserved it (15861)
On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46053) - you totally deserved it (7168)
On 07/21/2009 at 6:42am - intimacy - by picturemenakedbaby (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I sent out the email invitations to my baby shower. In response, a woman I dislike sent me an invitation to her "I'm not having a baby shower" where everyone gets drunk. Same day. Same time. All of my friends RSVPed to her shower instead of mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31975) - you totally deserved it (2541)
On 07/19/2009 at 6:09pm - kids - by preggo (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was surprising my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was nude and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML
I agree, your life sucks (51139) - you totally deserved it (4861)
On 07/18/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by Meh (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23267) - you totally deserved it (1906)
On 07/18/2009 at 4:15am - love - by Phoebe (woman) - Singapore
Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9085) - you totally deserved it (29973)
On 07/18/2009 at 2:03am - misc - by joedoe (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my new boss at my job is the same guy that I turned down repeatedly last night at the bar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38516) - you totally deserved it (2243)
On 07/17/2009 at 1:02am - work - by awkward. (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, at work, as a camp counselor, I was discussing how stupid the idea of santa is to a co-worker, and how every parent should tell the truth to their kids. The intercom microphone was on. I single handily told a group of 100 six year olds that santa was not real. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8353) - you totally deserved it (39529)
On 07/16/2009 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend watching a movie, my boyfriend then leans in and says: "You know, you're my favourite girlfriend." I then jokingly responded by saying: "You say that like I'm not the only girlfriend you have right now." I hate being right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40375) - you totally deserved it (2477)
On 07/14/2009 at 10:02am - misc - by dinapar (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I realized my new kitten is the spawn of the devil. It decided to go get itself stuck in a tree. I tried to climb up to rescue it. But it kept climbing higher. I was about to grab the cat when I fell. The cat then jumped down and started purring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29322) - you totally deserved it (5301)
On 07/13/2009 at 11:03pm - misc - by WearingOff (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13080) - you totally deserved it (54526)
On 07/13/2009 at 5:17am - intimacy - by air (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I had a check-up with my dermatologist. When I took off my pants, she noticed a small mark on my penis and was concerned. I had to inform her that it was not in fact a mole, but a bruise from getting it stuck in a Snapple bottle two days prior to the check-up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5679) - you totally deserved it (45725)
On 07/12/2009 at 3:07am - health - by Best-stuf-on-Earth (man) - United States (California)
Today, my wife and I decided to try a relationship book. The first activity was to write down some things your partner does that bothers you. I made a very long list, then my wife and I swapped papers. She'd written, "nothing, I love everything about you." She read my list and began tearing up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13926) - you totally deserved it (40647)
On 07/10/2009 at 7:18pm - love - by failhusband (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31771) - you totally deserved it (14185)
On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my cousin told me that the stop signs outlined with a white line were optional. Later, a cop pulled me over, when I asked why he said, "You ran that stop sign back there." I explained what my cousin had told me and he looked at me funny and replied, "All stop signs have a white outline." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4943) - you totally deserved it (56564)
On 07/08/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)
