Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Altrnate_Reality

Search for a member

Altrnate_Reality

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 20 December 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 610
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Altrnate_Reality : :)

Altrnate_Reality's page activity

Visits<b>Edogg215</b> - 21 hours ago<b>DoctorWatson</b> - yesterday at 1:44pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 12:26am<b>ndnpride88</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 1:29pm<b>salamander461</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 12:19pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 11:15pm<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 11:13pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 10:57pm<b>drshn</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 10:33pm<b>FrankHotpants</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 7:20pm<b>dre82</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 5:11pm<b>iammeorami</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 6:40pm<b>hannah0987</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 8:28pm<b>jonathanedwards</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 4:12pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 4:13pm<b>metallica_wins</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 1:50am<b>mazdatuner09</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 12:51pm<b>3ateef</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 6:09pm

Altrnate_Reality's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Altrnate_Reality's badges

Altrnate_Reality's favorite FMLs

Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML

#21154464
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46497) - you deserved it (5580)

On 05/28/2014 at 10:21am - love - by needanotherbed - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

#21116530
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25321) - you deserved it (42947)

On 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm - kids - by cantprovenothing (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

#21102110
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43975) - you deserved it (5381)

On 04/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by derped-out sperm (man) - Ireland

Today, I had to accept the fact that I'm going bald, after I noticed the hair on my chest is longer than the hair on my head. FML

#21037094
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36672) - you deserved it (3486)

On 01/23/2014 at 12:13pm - health - by Hairy_Potter (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I took a nap in my car right after finishing up at work. I was woken up by a hobo sitting in the passenger seat, watching me sleep. Apparently, he'd managed to unlock the door with a wire hanger. FML

#21027083
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45708) - you deserved it (5372)

On 01/13/2014 at 10:31pm - misc - by ShelterForTheHomless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to try LSD with a few friends in a safe environment. As an artist, I had planned to spend my trip doing psychedelic paintings and had all my supplies set up. Apparently I spent most of my time in fetal position muttering about the "evil easel" and never even touched my canvas. FML

#20930479
333 comments

Today, I was maced. Not by a person, but rather by one of those automatic air fresheners in the bathroom. It was conveniently placed at eye level, you know, for freshness. FML

#20921961
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39150) - you deserved it (2813)

On 10/15/2013 at 8:38pm - health - by erockinthesuburb (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

#20849713
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42340) - you deserved it (13649)

On 08/22/2013 at 6:45pm - animals - by violated ._. (woman) - United States

Today, I asked out the girl who always looks and smiles at me in class. I was surprised when she rejected me until I found out she was actually always looking at the clock behind me, and smiling when class is almost over. FML

#20846650
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44712) - you deserved it (4440)

On 08/20/2013 at 5:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read: "My mom's a total pedo." and after she mentioned the talk, her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML

#20840603
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50647) - you deserved it (5586)

On 08/16/2013 at 5:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59106) - you deserved it (5412)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I let a friend read a draft of the novel I'm writing. She claimed the antagonist is blatantly based on her, and threatened to sue me if I don't pay her royalties. The antagonist is an ancient, insane goblin witch. I guess I see now how this confusion could arise. FML

#20829558
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44051) - you deserved it (3152)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:53pm - work - by pardon my English :$ (woman) - France

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

#20820496
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66990) - you deserved it (8835)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54654) - you deserved it (6337)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50368) - you deserved it (4168)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: