Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Altair18

Search for a member

Altair18

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 18 December 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1576
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Altair18 : ••••••••• CONGRATS !!!••••••••

YOU WON the stalker of the month award!!!!

Oh you're very welcome , and btw that shirt looks great on you. ; )

I just want to thank you all for the awesome or lame comments and also for making laugh voluntarily or involuntarily 35% of you are so very clever. And to those that aren't in the percentage described above.….… well watch and learn you'll get one day...........eventually ........maybe.... No ??? ........Ok ...... mmmm Crows are able to identify people by their faces ..... Yup .... Little random fact ......oh the silence

Altair18's page activity

Visits<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 9:09pm<b>Nicky816</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 6:09am<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 3:08pm<b>xALEXx</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 8:26pm<b>supertacos</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 4:28pm<b>cmyk</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 6:41pm<b>sniperkit</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 9:42pm<b>restart622</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 11:08am<b>qwillis98</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 9:42pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 5:45am<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 01/07/2013 at 8:14am<b>billyz77</b> - the 01/07/2013 at 7:39am<b>FinalDarkWraith</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 2:08am<b>Suptnik</b> - the 01/03/2013 at 6:33pm<b>MRflyingplatypus</b> - the 12/29/2012 at 3:50pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 12/29/2012 at 10:09am<b>Chanti</b> - the 12/29/2012 at 5:15am<b>Jordan_C6</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 11:33pm

Altair18's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of Altair18's badges

Altair18's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for a while. I shaved my legs and armpits and wore a short dress. It wasn't until I got to the meeting that I noticed I only shaved one of my legs. FML

#18593326
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29106) - you deserved it (15948)

On 12/23/2011 at 10:22pm - love - by bigmistake - United States (Illinois)

Today, someone nearly hit me with their car, so I flipped them the finger. They turned back around and tried to run me over. FML

#18585718
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26221) - you deserved it (9176)

On 12/23/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by badidea - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while waiting for my train, I was listening to a voicemail message on my phone. Out of nowhere, a stranger came up to me from behind and screamed "DELETE!" into my ear. His voice command deleted my message. FML

#18580798
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30494) - you deserved it (4065) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/22/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by anna - France

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via the medium of free-style rapping. FML

#18535495
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31073) - you deserved it (4123)

On 12/17/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by Emily - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that I'm working on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. I'm spending my favourite time of the year working for $8.70 an hour. At McDonald's. FML

#18498054
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35698) - you deserved it (8450)

On 12/12/2011 at 9:15pm - work - by myjobsucks - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

#18490582
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8976) - you deserved it (40923)

On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by stinky (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12993) - you deserved it (41235)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14633) - you deserved it (39237)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

#18418543
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55274) - you deserved it (5530) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/03/2011 at 11:24am - kids - by perenoel - France

Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML

#18410529
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35544) - you deserved it (6050)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:22am - kids - by jessi - United States

Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML

#18371495
113 comments

Today, after changing his mind 3 times, my long distance fiancé told me he wasn't coming to see me for Thanksgiving. Out of anger, I threw his clothes, car magazines, and whatever else I could find in a huge, messy pile. During this, he walked into the room. He was going to surprise me. FML

#18320806
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11732) - you deserved it (42207)

On 11/22/2011 at 8:53pm - love - by Anon - United States

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

#18316439
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32935) - you deserved it (3125)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

#18242868
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30882) - you deserved it (4168)

On 11/14/2011 at 12:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my husband thinks I'm fat when I caught him slipping diet pills into my morning smoothie. FML

#18216815
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29966) - you deserved it (6491)

On 11/11/2011 at 6:50am - health - by apparentfatty (woman) - Canada



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: