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AlphaCentauriii

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AlphaCentauriii

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 19 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 198
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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AlphaCentauriii's page activity

Visits<b>olpally</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 1:17pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 1:54pm<b>southernbelle_rn</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 8:05pm<b>ryanmanganello</b> - the 04/19/2013 at 3:17pm

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AlphaCentauriii's favorite FMLs

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52956) - you deserved it (9154)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

#20713899
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68740) - you deserved it (12950)

On 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

#20713183
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61043) - you deserved it (13825)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

#20667353
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50392) - you deserved it (8713)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, at the supermarket, a man collapsed. I gave CPR while the cashier called for help. During this, the other patrons were complaining that no other register was open. Once the ambulance arrived, I returned to my cart to find items removed and 40 dollars taken from my purse. FML

#20666447
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66171) - you deserved it (3635)

On 05/16/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

#20637584
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70001) - you deserved it (7862)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by future brain bleach addict (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML

#20593773
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68941) - you deserved it (6147)

On 04/15/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by wow (woman) - Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City)

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

Today, I tossed half a sausage to a dog sitting beside a park bench. It wasn't until he lunged for it and dragged the man beside him off of the bench that I realized it was a seeing eye dog. FML

#20552676
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30153) - you deserved it (23821)

On 03/20/2013 at 7:53pm - animals - by SolaceInRage (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I picked up my new car. The dealer offered to connect my iPhone to the Bluetooth system for me. Once connected it automatically started playing the audiobook I had been listening to over the stereo system. Right on a passage which had an extremely graphic description of anal sex. FML

Today, I was at work on a smoke break. I work at a truck stop, and it was around 2am. This old man pulls in and asks me if I would like to join him for some dinner. I said no, and told him I was working. He replies, "How much do you charge?" Apparently, even in sweats I look like a hooker. FML

#13326946
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29494) - you deserved it (6132)

On 10/05/2010 at 5:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

#7609277
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42334) - you deserved it (11961)

On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML

#507959
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (216610) - you deserved it (28023)

On 03/21/2009 at 11:38am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Michigan)



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