About Aloyese : Hi. I'm Alyx(: Im an actress!(: I have an awesome job right now as a model, and I love to sing. Obviously something brought you here, so if I seem interesting enough, KIK me if ya want.? Kik: Aloyese
Aloyese's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Aloyese's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/09/2012 at 6:09pm / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Kids
by lindsaykay / 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm / United States / Intimacy
by fuck teh poleese / 02/12/2012 at 4:50pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML
by Bonapp / 02/09/2012 at 5:11pm / France / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 02/07/2012 at 4:27am / United States (Nevada) / Health
Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML
by Anonymous / 02/05/2012 at 10:45am / Reserved / Miscellaneous
Today, after a twelve week dry spell followed by an eight week one, I decided to take a bit more initiative at seducing my girlfriend. Not only was she "not in the mood" again, but she offered me Trident Layers gum instead. She apparently thought that it was a fair trade. FML
by dasnich / 02/04/2012 at 10:46pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that Google+ has been automatically uploading my cell phone pictures as I take them. My friends have now seen pictures of me, my penis, and other things too horrifying to talk about. FML
by brannie / 01/29/2012 at 7:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by theish / 02/04/2011 at 9:08am / Intimacy
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
by mandy / 04/10/2009 at 11:35am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids