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Aloyese

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Aloyese
  • Town/Country : thatoneplaceinamerica, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 4 April 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 374
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Aloyese : Hi. I'm Alyx(: Im an actress!(: I have an awesome job right now as a model, and I love to sing. Obviously something brought you here, so if I seem interesting enough, KIK me if ya want.? Kik: Aloyese

Aloyese's last visitors

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Aloyese's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving and a cute guy was staring at me. Flattered, I smiled at him, but he didn't even react. I realized he wasn't admiring me he was admiring my truck. This is the 5th time this week. My truck gets more game than I do. FML

#20622946
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44114) - you deserved it (6948)

On 04/26/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was violently throwing up due to severe morning sickness. My boyfriend looked at me, then turned and walked away. In the end, my daughter gave me some paper towel and her juice. My 18-month-old is more supportive of my pregnancy than her 30-year-old father. FML

#20562509
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32719) - you deserved it (4858)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by InfamousLastWord (woman) - United States

Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML

#20550602
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40711) - you deserved it (15363)

On 03/19/2013 at 8:31am - intimacy - by fredo (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I asked a traffic cop if it was okay to park my car briefly in a Monday to Friday only parking spot, since it's Saturday. She politely replied I could. I came back less than ten minutes later, only to find a parking ticket stuck to my windshield. FML

#20546325
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31681) - you deserved it (14939)

On 03/16/2013 at 4:04pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I finally told my dad about how I've been diagnosed with clinical depression. He began to recite a commercial for depression meds, but he couldn't finish because he was overwhelmed with laughter. FML

#20537428
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30496) - you deserved it (3469)

On 03/09/2013 at 9:05pm - misc - by depressed - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was reciting lines for a play that I'm in. It was going great, until I realized that I was actually reciting my scripted sales pitch from my telemarketing job. FML

#20533106
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20660) - you deserved it (6959)

On 03/06/2013 at 12:44am - misc - by sales ham (man) - United States

Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML

#20517914
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26997) - you deserved it (3182)

On 02/22/2013 at 7:31pm - health - by arse of fire :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, my girlfriend of nine months made a huge scene in public, calling me a "cheating bastard" because she saw me with another woman at the library. That "other woman" is my Calculus tutor. FML

#20514871
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29672) - you deserved it (2991)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:20pm - love - by ? - United States (California)

Today, the guy I like asked me out for the first time. It's a good thing he did it over Facebook, because I started shaking and almost threw up. I don't know how I'm going to function on our date next week. FML

#20514506
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25259) - you deserved it (6839)

On 02/20/2013 at 2:31am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

#20465889
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49996) - you deserved it (4547)

On 01/18/2013 at 5:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9665) - you deserved it (19658)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my mom and I took my senile grandmother to the mall, since she doesn't get out much. She complained it was hot, then took her clothing off in the middle of the food court. It took us thirty minutes to make her put her shirt back on. FML

#20187746
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16706) - you deserved it (1240)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:05am - misc - by Sam - United States (Indiana)

Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML

#20179890
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27515) - you deserved it (3209)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm - misc - by Teddy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML

#20179829
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21627) - you deserved it (2494)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:13pm - misc - by Autocorrected - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I was told I will be having twins; this came as a shock since there are no twins in my family. When I asked my mom about it, she said that she wasn't surprised and not to worry about it because she had "absorbed her twin" and that the problem would "take care of itself." FML

#20154574
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18825) - you deserved it (1480)

On 11/08/2012 at 1:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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