Aloyese

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Aloyese

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 4 April 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 822
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Aloyese : Hi. I'm Alyx(: Im an actress!(: I have an awesome job right now as a model, and I love to sing. Obviously something brought you here, so if I seem interesting enough, KIK me if ya want.? Kik: Aloyese

Aloyese's page activity

Visits<b>PresAgent</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 11:48pm<b>naudia1590</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 5:46am<b>iT_Cereal</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 3:31am<b>TiroC</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 5:35am<b>Risea</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 11:13am<b>leaannec30</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 12:54pm<b>mcduckens</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 11:34am<b>JZAMORA777</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 12:22pm<b>kodman101</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 1:53pm<b>awkwardngrateful</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 11:30pm<b>tonedef456</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 9:14pm<b>grigri75</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 1:28pm<b>krazayman</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 12:21pm<b>DeathofCareBear</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 5:05pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 5:05pm<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 5:39am<b>drosek89</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 4:12pm<b>c_wyld</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 2:09am

Fucked!<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 11:05pm<b>Radgears47</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 11:39am

Aloyese's FML badges

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Aloyese's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving and a cute guy was staring at me. Flattered, I smiled at him, but he didn't even react. I realized he wasn't admiring me he was admiring my truck. This is the 5th time this week. My truck gets more game than I do. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2013 at 10:50am / United States / Transportation

Today, I was violently throwing up due to severe morning sickness. My boyfriend looked at me, then turned and walked away. In the end, my daughter gave me some paper towel and her juice. My 18-month-old is more supportive of my pregnancy than her 30-year-old father. FML

by InfamousLastWord / 03/27/2013 at 3:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML

by fredo / 03/19/2013 at 8:31am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, I asked a traffic cop if it was okay to park my car briefly in a Monday to Friday only parking spot, since it's Saturday. She politely replied I could. I came back less than ten minutes later, only to find a parking ticket stuck to my windshield. FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2013 at 4:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, I finally told my dad about how I've been diagnosed with clinical depression. He began to recite a commercial for depression meds, but he couldn't finish because he was overwhelmed with laughter. FML

by depressed / 03/09/2013 at 9:05pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was reciting lines for a play that I'm in. It was going great, until I realized that I was actually reciting my scripted sales pitch from my telemarketing job. FML

by sales ham / 03/06/2013 at 12:44am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML

by arse of fire :( / 02/22/2013 at 7:31pm / United Kingdom (Slough) / Health

Today, my girlfriend of nine months made a huge scene in public, calling me a "cheating bastard" because she saw me with another woman at the library. That "other woman" is my Calculus tutor. FML

by ? / 02/20/2013 at 1:20pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, the guy I like asked me out for the first time. It's a good thing he did it over Facebook, because I started shaking and almost threw up. I don't know how I'm going to function on our date next week. FML

by Anonymous / 02/20/2013 at 2:31am / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2013 at 5:50am / United States / Intimacy

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

by whitecollar / 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm / United Kingdom (York) / Work

Today, my mom and I took my senile grandmother to the mall, since she doesn't get out much. She complained it was hot, then took her clothing off in the middle of the food court. It took us thirty minutes to make her put her shirt back on. FML

by Sam / 12/02/2012 at 9:05am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML

by Teddy / 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML

by Autocorrected / 11/26/2012 at 3:13pm / Philippines (Manila) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was told I will be having twins; this came as a shock since there are no twins in my family. When I asked my mom about it, she said that she wasn't surprised and not to worry about it because she had "absorbed her twin" and that the problem would "take care of itself." FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2012 at 1:13am / United States (Texas) / Kids