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AliceTheBlue

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AliceTheBlue
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 806
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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AliceTheBlue's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of AliceTheBlue's badges

AliceTheBlue's favorite FMLs

Today, I went in to see my piercer. He took one look at my piercing I got a few months ago and laughed saying "What a shit job, I'm sorry but that's pretty crappy because it's not even straight!" I then had to awkwardly explain it was indeed him who had pierced me. FML

#17602935
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28193) - you deserved it (3407)

On 08/28/2011 at 6:41am - misc - by piercingfreak (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30020) - you deserved it (8709)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML

#17352313
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39024) - you deserved it (5320)

On 08/03/2011 at 3:40am - love - by Tim - United States

Today, my parents took me on a plane ride for a vacation in Hong Kong. What they didn't tell me was that the "vacation" is extended for three years. FML

#17297166
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40151) - you deserved it (2713)

On 07/29/2011 at 11:37am - misc - by xxxkkxxx - Hong Kong

Today, I was supposed to have a double date. My date didn't show. I spent my day in the living room waiting for the pizza guy while my best friend and her boyfriend made out. The pizza guy never showed either. FML

#17036855
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30476) - you deserved it (2483)

On 07/09/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by supergingerr11 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to my phone company and had my text history pulled. Why? Because a few days ago my 4 year old daughter told me that, "Daddy has a wife and a girlfriend." Turns out she was right. FML

#16176534
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41687) - you deserved it (3766)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:35pm - love - by Clueless (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML

#16168666
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102964) - you deserved it (13929)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:15am - intimacy - by ali grace - United States (Texas)

Today, I was listening to my son's teacher gossip about students whilst in the grocery store. I was thrilled when she described my son as "A model student". However, she then went on to say, "Which is surprising considering that his parents are trailer trash." FML

#15895508
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38087) - you deserved it (7332)

On 04/23/2011 at 5:26am - kids - by kindgartin (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML

#15398872
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44837) - you deserved it (8003)

On 03/20/2011 at 12:10pm - kids - by parenting_failure (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was telling my dad about how I emasculated my guy friends because I can drive a stick shift while they can't. He said, "And you wonder why people think you're a lesbian." FML

#15317811
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28604) - you deserved it (11292)

On 03/15/2011 at 1:58am - misc - by Megara (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

#15042917
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47890) - you deserved it (40070)

On 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to my dad and new stepmom's house for the week. Upon arrival, I was handed mouthwash, deodorant, and lice shampoo. The guest bed I was told I'd be sleeping in was fitted with a plastic mattress cover. I don't have lice and I don't wet the bed. FML

#14510501
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20376) - you deserved it (1819)

On 01/08/2011 at 5:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was taking my earrings out and thought I had lost the back of one. Turns out my ear infection has caused the flesh of my ear to grow around and engulf the back of my earring and it is still stuck in there. FML

#14382441
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25819) - you deserved it (11334)

On 12/29/2010 at 1:13pm - health - by caempa (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was excited to hear that I received three of my grad school recommendations in the mail from a very busy professor. They need to be submitted sealed, and of course, my nosy mom decided to open them. FML

#13785439
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29946) - you deserved it (2127)

On 11/10/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by dcsunshine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend, who is a great cook, decided to try his hand at baking. The cookies he made looked weird but tasted good. I jokingly said, "They taste great, but they look awful!" He responded by saying, "I could say the same thing about you." FML

#13655467
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17046) - you deserved it (22210)

On 10/30/2010 at 10:14pm - love - by yummy(: - United States (Tennessee)



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