This member hasn't filled in their description.
AliceTheBlue's FML badges
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
AliceTheBlue's favorite FMLs
Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML
by Goaway / 08/14/2011 at 7:20am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by Tim / 08/03/2011 at 3:40am / United States / Love
by xxxkkxxx / 07/29/2011 at 11:37am / Hong Kong / Holidays
Today, I was supposed to have a double date. My date didn't show. I spent my day in the living room waiting for the pizza guy while my best friend and her boyfriend made out. The pizza guy never showed either. FML
by supergingerr11 / 07/09/2011 at 1:55am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by Clueless / 05/14/2011 at 7:35pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML
by ali grace / 05/14/2011 at 7:15am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was listening to my son's teacher gossip about students whilst in the grocery store. I was thrilled when she described my son as "A model student". However, she then went on to say, "Which is surprising considering that his parents are trailer trash." FML
by kindgartin / 04/23/2011 at 5:26am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Kids
Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML
by parenting_failure / 03/20/2011 at 12:10pm / Kids
by Megara / 03/15/2011 at 1:58am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I went to my dad and new stepmom's house for the week. Upon arrival, I was handed mouthwash, deodorant, and lice shampoo. The guest bed I was told I'd be sleeping in was fitted with a plastic mattress cover. I don't have lice and I don't wet the bed. FML
by Anonymous / 01/08/2011 at 5:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taking my earrings out and thought I had lost the back of one. Turns out my ear infection has caused the flesh of my ear to grow around and engulf the back of my earring and it is still stuck in there. FML
by caempa / 12/29/2010 at 1:13pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health
Today, I was excited to hear that I received three of my grad school recommendations in the mail from a very busy professor. They need to be submitted sealed, and of course, my nosy mom decided to open them. FML
by dcsunshine / 11/10/2010 at 12:30am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend, who is a great cook, decided to try his hand at baking. The cookies he made looked weird but tasted good. I jokingly said, "They taste great, but they look awful!" He responded by saying, "I could say the same thing about you." FML
by yummy(: / 10/30/2010 at 10:14pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love
Today, my boyfriend told me I should finish school early and get a job so we can get married, because then he'll have enough money to buy the truck he's had his eyes on for our whole relationship. FML
by Ginger / 10/03/2010 at 2:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money