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AliceTheBlue's favorite FMLs
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous
by Jeff make / 04/01/2012 at 10:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by bananamuffin / 03/30/2012 at 3:13pm / United States / Work
Today, I found out my 12 year old daughter is going through a bit of an "emotional" stage. I got a call from her school saying she was sitting in the corner at recess trying to cut her wrist. With a plastic spoon. FML
by ohhdear.___. / 03/26/2012 at 10:54am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML
by yamsterr / 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United States / Love
Today, I was talking to my husband about a work colleague, whose boyfriend is always sending her flowers and fawning over her. I mentioned how I've never been treated like that. He glanced up from his video game and said, "Shit, Mel. Get a boob job then." FML
by Mel Ancholy / 02/17/2012 at 9:04pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, my teacher, who's Irish, called me insensitive and stupid for imitating her accent. I'm Filipino and my parents immigrated to Ireland where I was born, and then we moved to Canada when I was 14. Her response to my explanation? "Bullshit." FML
by meh / 01/18/2012 at 12:21am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm / India / Kids
by Rash / 12/06/2011 at 11:54am / United States (New York) / Animals
by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward / 12/06/2011 at 10:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/26/2011 at 3:16am / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML
by hannahlorraine / 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by jaleesadavis21 / 10/18/2011 at 9:25am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
by TraumatizedMother / 10/02/2011 at 3:27am / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I went in to see my piercer. He took one look at my piercing I got a few months ago and laughed saying "What a shit job, I'm sorry but that's pretty crappy because it's not even straight!" I then had to awkwardly explain it was indeed him who had pierced me. FML
by piercingfreak / 08/28/2011 at 6:41am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I discovered our dog anxiety-sharts in his sleep. I found this out after a couple nights of… Today, I was excited to finally leave for Minnesota to visit the college of my dreams. I drove two… Today, I visited my parents with my four year old. My son started to excitedly tell his grandmother…