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Alexify9

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Alexify9

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  • Number of visits : 339
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Alexify9's favorite FMLs

Today, my college started an internet "confessions" page. Out of curiosity I checked it out, only to find that it's full of some of the most disturbing stuff I've ever read. My schoolmates are either filthy as fuck or they are all pathological liars. Wonderful. FML

#20524030
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33055) - you deserved it (4649)

On 02/27/2013 at 2:17am - intimacy - by panicelement (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realised the extent of my wife's cat obsession when I received an $850 bill for the air conditioner she leaves on for our 5 cats while we are at work. FML

#20524027
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25650) - you deserved it (3783)

On 02/27/2013 at 2:12am - animals - by thecatlady (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I finally made a Facebook account after being home-schooled my entire life. I friended people that I know and their friends, and subsequently sparked a debate on whether or not I exist. FML

#20523906
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27407) - you deserved it (3655)

On 02/27/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by thepokemonkid - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

#20523889
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27713) - you deserved it (3748)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm - misc - by Jan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

#20523671
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42862) - you deserved it (5401)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was trying to be sexy and change in front of my boyfriend. As I was changing, he started to talk to me about how we should both try and lose weight. FML

#20523139
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33312) - you deserved it (7296)

On 02/26/2013 at 3:26pm - love - by pooh anne (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant with a horribly sore back and an insensitive husband. I'm so desperate for relief that I'm lying on the couch, using my vibrator to give myself a back massage. FML

#20523063
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33564) - you deserved it (4159)

On 02/26/2013 at 2:11pm - misc - by guyssuck (woman) - Canada (Northwest Territories)

Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML

#20523003
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26042) - you deserved it (9221)

On 02/26/2013 at 1:09pm - animals - by Puppylove (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, a guy I went on one date with asked me out again via text. Being honest, I texted back, politely saying that he was a good guy but I wasn't really interested. He came over to my house, screaming about how awful I was for "text message breaking up with him" and then cracked my windshield. FML

#20522936
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35797) - you deserved it (4216)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:43am - love - by fuckedover - United States

Today, I realized that the homeless people I give change to all dress better than I do, including the one that doesn't believe in pants. FML

#20522911
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13437) - you deserved it (21669)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:54am - misc - by keerow (man) - United States

Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML

#20522701
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31032) - you deserved it (3347)

On 02/26/2013 at 3:21am - health - by Brook (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

#20522482
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53689) - you deserved it (3911)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)

Today, I was feeling generous, so I made my roommate's favorite meal for her when she got home. When she did return home, she flipped her shit for no reason, screaming that she would pee on everything I love. Considering our history, I'm going to start checking my things for urine. FML

#20522100
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26171) - you deserved it (2240)

On 02/25/2013 at 7:44pm - misc - by sniperkit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while at the nail salon, my boyfriend called. Since I was getting my nails done, I had to put him on speaker. The whole salon heard him break up with me. I can still hear their snickering in my head. FML

#20521938
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32542) - you deserved it (6666)

On 02/25/2013 at 6:04pm - love - by HeatherRosure18 - United States (Illinois)



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