Alexify9

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Offline (the 04/14/2015 at 5:59am)

Alexify9

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1316
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Alexify9's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Alexify9's badges

Alexify9's favorite FMLs

Today, I filled out an application for a job at Dairy Queen. I handed my application to the manager along with my résumé, and he said he'd be in contact with me. Not even five minutes after I left, a friend who works there sent me a picture of my crumpled-up application in the trash. FML

by anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 10:52am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, the "Child Care and Development" class at my high school assigned all 50 students to carry a fake baby around school all day for a week. I can't even read a page of my notes without hearing a robotic crying noise. Today is the first day. FML

by Headache / 03/01/2013 at 8:20am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he didn't trust himself not to cheat on me. What? FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 7:02am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:02am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I texted my boyfriend a cute picture that I drew for him, with a little note saying "love you." He replied by sending me a picture of a nose hair he'd plucked, along with the caption, "longest one yet." FML

by thenewgirl29 / 03/01/2013 at 12:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML

by JimiHendrix / 02/28/2013 at 8:55pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Health

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

by useless pos / 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to sneak out of work early to pick my 14-year-old son up from school. He and a friend had been found covered in Astroglide, racing each other down the corridor on their bellies. My boss noticed my absence from work, and now my son and I are both on suspension. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2013 at 7:15pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs at college. I was taken to hospital with a fractured ankle and had to call my parents to drive me home. They constantly made passive-aggressive remarks on the way home, because I'd "totally ruined" their plans to eat out at a fancy restaurant tonight. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2013 at 5:33pm / United Kingdom (Ards) / Health

Today, I had an important job interview at another company. I'd tried to keep it secret from everyone at work, so they wouldn't tell my boss, as I can't afford to get on his bad side yet. My mom posted on my Facebook wall, wishing me luck. I'm Facebook friends with most of my colleagues. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2013 at 4:06pm / Finland (Southern Finland) / Work

Today, during a sleepover at my friend's house, I woke up in the middle of the night with a dire need to pee. As I walked in the dark to the bathroom, I saw a silhouette in a doorway and instictively screamed. Turns out it was my friend's sister's One Direction cutout. FML

by Neversleepingthereagain / 02/28/2013 at 2:00pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML

by she sure has an arm. / 02/28/2013 at 6:57am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was studying for an exam, my younger sister came home extremely drunk and threw up all over herself and her bed. I later got grounded for not setting a better example. FML

by catdog552 / 02/28/2013 at 6:02am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends confronted me and told me that they no longer want to visit my house because my dog smells really disgusting. I didn't have the heart to tell them that the smell is actually my parents, who have been trying to "save water" by only showering once a fortnight. FML

by sickofthesmelltoo / 02/28/2013 at 5:56am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous