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Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23126) - you deserved it (14864) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, when I signed into Amazon, their top recommendation for me based on past purchases was "The Brave Little Toaster" on DVD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5316) - you deserved it (13703)
On 11/08/2010 at 4:04am - misc - by lambxox - United States
Today, I was sitting on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy came and sat next to me. Next thing I know, he farts loudly, then proudly looks my way. I stared back in shock. He says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46026) - you deserved it (9592)
On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I went into a haunted house. Around 30 seconds into the adventure, I couldn't stop screaming at the top of my lungs from all of the scares. Suddenly, the little girl ahead of me, who was all by herself, turned around and told me to "suck it up and grow a pair, loser." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6743) - you deserved it (26011)
On 11/01/2010 at 7:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I went to a party dressed as a Pinata. Drunk people tried to hit me all night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5855) - you deserved it (35982)
On 11/01/2010 at 3:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)
Today, while I was substitute teaching a middle school class, a boy, named Chris, refused to get in the boy's line for the bathroom. After I had said, "Chris, what makes you think you're a girl?" in a very loud voice, one of the other students said "She is a girl." I've scarred a child for life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8582) - you deserved it (31598)
On 10/24/2010 at 1:26am - kids - by badteacher (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend came over to me, like she was going to kiss me, and instead rubbed her chin all over my face, exclaiming, "Can you feel my beard coming in?" Yes, yes I could. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28705) - you deserved it (2698)
On 10/24/2010 at 12:11am - love - by altocrm - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33330) - you deserved it (9128)
On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36704) - you deserved it (10615)
On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was riding the subway when a beautiful topless girl walked into my car and sat directly in front of me. Then, the train stopped abruptly and I banged my head. The girl was gone and I realized it had all been a dream. Then I realized I was supposed to get off 17 stops ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13828) - you deserved it (26690)
On 08/15/2010 at 6:31pm - intimacy - by Peekaman (man) - United States (New York)
Today, the Vuvuzela that my brother ordered online was delivered to our house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49801) - you deserved it (4253)
On 06/21/2010 at 8:21am - kids - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I got mugged by someone wearing a bear suit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27648) - you deserved it (3141)
On 06/01/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by mugged (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43575) - you deserved it (4461)
On 03/18/2010 at 11:22am - health - by human torch - United States
Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12132) - you deserved it (3452)
On 02/14/2010 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by klsdhjla (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, it's my sixteenth birthday and my mom promised me she'd buy me a car. She came home with a toy lego car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14319) - you deserved it (12604)
On 02/12/2010 at 2:24pm - misc - by RaceCar (man) - United States (Alabama)
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