Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Alex_DeLarge

Search for a member

Alex_DeLarge

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 128712
  • Number of comments : 100
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Alex_DeLarge's page activity

Visits<b>kikyophoenix</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 2:29pm<b>OutOfTimeMan</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 12:16am<b>SchindlersLiszt</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 10:40pm<b>mirrrrrr</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 9:26am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:31pm<b>QTp13</b> - the 01/01/2010 at 2:51am<b>Darrus</b> - the 10/27/2009 at 9:10am<b>prplr</b> - the 09/17/2009 at 4:33am<b>wingedspiritus</b> - the 08/19/2009 at 7:27pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 08/17/2009 at 4:47pm<b>soccerkika6</b> - the 07/24/2009 at 10:56am<b>girandwogpig</b> - the 07/20/2009 at 1:23pm<b>altkat</b> - the 07/20/2009 at 3:18am<b>muffymonroe</b> - the 07/19/2009 at 4:17am<b>ringo00</b> - the 07/18/2009 at 7:56pm<b>sodaxpopxhiccups</b> - the 07/18/2009 at 6:03pm<b>muffy_da_bear</b> - the 06/19/2009 at 5:00pm<b>Vashu</b> - the 06/19/2009 at 8:22am

Alex_DeLarge's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Alex_DeLarge's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a petting zoo with my boyfriend. A guy that worked there said he'd take a picture of me with a mouse on my head. He reassured me that this mouse was trained. I agreed. Once the mouse got on my head, it peed. Turns out the guy didn't work there after all. FML

#6212555
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25191) - you deserved it (14020)

On 11/08/2009 at 2:14pm - health - by Poopyhead (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

#3971030
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17139) - you deserved it (68375)

On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States

Today, I moved in with my brother to save on a swanky apartment. I was skeptical as to how this would work out as we fought a lot as kids. Our first big fight? Whether or not to keep his dorm-style futon complete with Return of the Jedi sheets. He's a 35-yr old physician; I'm a 28-yr old lawyer. FML

#3669559
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34199) - you deserved it (9898)

On 07/11/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by bdiddy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter asked me what is the youngest age at which you should start having sex. Being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML

#3344863
471 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71322) - you deserved it (12505)

On 06/29/2009 at 8:40pm - intimacy - by blazer - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML

#2593679
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99823) - you deserved it (6324)

On 06/04/2009 at 8:17am - kids - by Kimmiko (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

#2210993
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47776) - you deserved it (9362)

On 05/23/2009 at 1:48pm - love - by jimbop (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML

#2209832
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48642) - you deserved it (20979)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by Tootsy_Roll_Pop (man) - United States

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

#1550059
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28936) - you deserved it (266026)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:21am - health - by breathalizard (man) - United States (North Dakota)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: