Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Alex_DeLarge

Search for a member

Alex_DeLarge

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 128794
  • Number of comments : 100
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Alex_DeLarge's page activity

Visits<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 3:07pm<b>kikyophoenix</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 2:29pm<b>OutOfTimeMan</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 12:16am<b>SchindlersLiszt</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 10:40pm<b>mirrrrrr</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 9:26am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:31pm<b>QTp13</b> - the 01/01/2010 at 2:51am<b>Darrus</b> - the 10/27/2009 at 9:10am<b>prplr</b> - the 09/17/2009 at 4:33am<b>wingedspiritus</b> - the 08/19/2009 at 7:27pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 08/17/2009 at 4:47pm<b>soccerkika6</b> - the 07/24/2009 at 10:56am<b>girandwogpig</b> - the 07/20/2009 at 1:23pm<b>altkat</b> - the 07/20/2009 at 3:18am<b>muffymonroe</b> - the 07/19/2009 at 4:17am<b>ringo00</b> - the 07/18/2009 at 7:56pm<b>sodaxpopxhiccups</b> - the 07/18/2009 at 6:03pm<b>muffy_da_bear</b> - the 06/19/2009 at 5:00pm

Alex_DeLarge's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Alex_DeLarge's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a petting zoo with my boyfriend. A guy that worked there said he'd take a picture of me with a mouse on my head. He reassured me that this mouse was trained. I agreed. Once the mouse got on my head, it peed. Turns out the guy didn't work there after all. FML

#6212555
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25261) - you deserved it (14029)

On 11/08/2009 at 2:14pm - health - by Poopyhead (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

#3971030
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17170) - you deserved it (68442)

On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States

Today, I moved in with my brother to save on a swanky apartment. I was skeptical as to how this would work out as we fought a lot as kids. Our first big fight? Whether or not to keep his dorm-style futon complete with Return of the Jedi sheets. He's a 35-yr old physician; I'm a 28-yr old lawyer. FML

#3669559
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34691) - you deserved it (9990)

On 07/11/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by bdiddy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter asked me what is the youngest age at which you should start having sex. Being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML

#3344863
471 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71471) - you deserved it (12526)

On 06/29/2009 at 8:40pm - intimacy - by blazer - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML

#2593679
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100674) - you deserved it (6381)

On 06/04/2009 at 8:17am - kids - by Kimmiko (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

#2210993
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48600) - you deserved it (9493)

On 05/23/2009 at 1:48pm - love - by jimbop (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML

#2209832
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49480) - you deserved it (21304)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by Tootsy_Roll_Pop (man) - United States

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

#1550059
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29672) - you deserved it (269478)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:21am - health - by breathalizard (man) - United States (North Dakota)



FML's blog

  • On FML, it's Halloween every day
  • As you know, we never pass up the chance to open up a light beer and plunge into the depths of the FML archive to come up with some sort of theme. Most holidays, national or otherwise, are pretty well represented.…

Friday 31 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: