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AlbinoBear

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AlbinoBear

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 402
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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AlbinoBear's favorite FMLs

Today, I was denied membership to an all-women's gym. Why? Because "men are not permitted to join". I am and have always been female. FML

#18255210
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35589) - you deserved it (3532)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by insulted - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was watching Animal Planet while babysitting my 4 year-old niece. A really cute baby bunny came on and I called her into the room, only for her to see it get killed by a Bald Eagle. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#15632766
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30815) - you deserved it (16213)

On 04/04/2011 at 6:13am - kids - by arbiter3 -

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

#15627116
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46801) - you deserved it (13866)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
410 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48660) - you deserved it (8012)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML

#15415260
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29959) - you deserved it (52014)

On 03/21/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by fffmmll - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, my father who left my family over 10 years ago and never contacted us or paid child support, poked me on Facebook. FML

#15209199
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57373) - you deserved it (3675)

On 03/05/2011 at 7:24pm - misc - by poked - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband decided to imitate Borat and shout "Very Nice! I Excite!" while having sex. He's also decided that it was ingenious and does it every single time, the entire time. FML

#15205638
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31225) - you deserved it (4921)

On 03/05/2011 at 9:19am - intimacy - by mrssagdiyev (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

#14790156
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47593) - you deserved it (8103)

On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML

#13927798
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17534) - you deserved it (48444)

On 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by sydysyd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML

#11983627
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97912) - you deserved it (5645)

On 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm - love - by betrayed (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my 23-year old boyfriend is not talking to me because I bought the regular kind of macaroni and cheese instead of the cartoon kind. FML

#11923673
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32783) - you deserved it (16825)

On 07/16/2010 at 3:45pm - misc - by liz - United States (California)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

#7339757
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27230) - you deserved it (4927)

On 01/14/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by scubai (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML

#6748934
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32803) - you deserved it (4061)

On 12/14/2009 at 4:05am - love - by luckygirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to get sized. I put the card that says my size in my pocket, then went to the movies with my boyfriend. When the person at the counter asked me to hand them my ticket, I reached into my pocket and handed it to them. It wasn't the ticket. It was my bra size. FML

#6738638
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8315) - you deserved it (27542)

On 12/13/2009 at 1:39pm - love - by StrawberryJuicey (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I decided to propose to my girlfriend on the Charles Bridge in Prague. A little boy thought it would be fun to chase a flock of pigeons towards me. I freaked out and dropped the 2 carat diamond ring. Into the river. FML

#5414131
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53967) - you deserved it (9705)

On 09/22/2009 at 2:30pm - misc - by sadguy (man) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)



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